Len Wiseman To Direct ‘Total Recall’ Remake

Len WisemanThat’s it. It’s gone too far. Is nothing sacred in show business? When a nearly forgotten cult favorite from almost thirty years ago gets remade/rebooted/sequelized, I don’t put up much of a fuss. I can understand a studio repackaging an old product like TRON in a sleek, new suit and re-selling it to the masses for four times its original price. That’s capitalism at it’s finest. But does a beloved sci-fi action film that starred one of the biggest cash cows in movie history and grossed a quarter billions dollars 20 years ago really need to be remade?

Sony, in their infinite wisdom, seems to thinks so. And that’s why the studio just sent out a tweet confirming that not only is a Total Recall remake happening, but that they’ve hired Len Wiseman (Live Free Or Die Hard) to direct it. Blasphemy, I say, blasphemy. Why, you ask? I’ll tell you why. The 1990 original starred Arnold Schwarzenegger at the height of his career and cast him as a lowly future construction worker yearning for a taste of intergalactic adventure. Based on the acclaimed story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick (of Blade Runner fame), the film thrusts our muscled protagonist into a Martian game of cat and mouse, where Douglas Quaid (or is it Douglas Hauser?) is running from Rekall, Inc. – a seemingly innocent corporation that provides virtual vacations to those who can afford it. They provide Douglas with James Bond like fantasy that becomes all too real when he starts to experience strange side effects from the procedure.

You may be sitting there reading this article and thinking to yourself, “this sounds awesome! Why all the fuss?” Well folks, if you remember the teachings of your parents, I’m sure at one point in your cheery upbringing they told you that “if something’s not broken, don’t fix it”. With that in mind, go buy or rent Paul Verhoeven’s masterwork, watch the two-hour opus and tell me if you think that the director of Underworld can do any better.

Granted, producer Neal H. Mortiz, screenwriter Kurt Wimmer and Columbia Pictures plan on making a “contemporized adaptation” of the source material, but I strongly believe that the original holds up today and that this project is nothing more than an attempt to cash in on the nostalgia factor that seems to get more and more films greenlit these days. While Sony continues to reap the profits of rehashes like The Karate Kid, I fear that many more great films of yesteryear will ultimately fall victim to this exploitative fate. Count me out of this one…

Source: Columbia Pictures