[IMG:L]New on DVD, Live Free or Die Hard allows you to watch again and again, in the comfort of your own home, a good ol’ friend who’s up to new cyber tricks.
Four times over we’ve seen Bruce Willis‘s John McClane defend this country by taking down bands of evil terrorists. By now, we know very well how the macho cop spends his work days ‘at the office’–but how about those ‘days off’ when civilization, as we know it, isn’t under immediate security threat?
You or I might run a few errands, browse through a music store, take a stroll down to a local, corporate coffee chain to casually revive ourselves alongside our fellow well-meaning community members… But McClane is not one for the casual. Instead of hanging with loafers, the adrenaline-pumped cop would much rather spend an entire night solving a tense hostage situation, while crunching broken glass under his bare feet.
[IMG:R]His frequent muttering of “Yippie-ki-yay, Motherf*cker!” never quite sat well with his uptight elderly neighbors, who’d much rather discuss pleasantries like the weather. However, the keyed up NYPD officer, who is constantly called upon to pitch-in more by his higher ups, is officially unable to ‘let loose’ until he knows that the proper training and necessary preparations for the worst have taken place.
I found all of this out the hard way–by spending one full day in the shoes of everyone’s favorite wise-ass New York cop: John McClane.
Fortunately, the dreaded’ ‘red phone’ never rang throughout my day of being Detective McClane–and the next nefarious plot to upset New York City, or the planet Earth for that matter, still awaited a day for when the brusque brute force, himself, would be on call.
There was no military-style obstacle course and I definitely didn’t have to endure a ‘How to Take Down a Flying Helicopter with a Motorcycle’ training session–thankfully so, because my nerves wouldn’t have been able to take it anyway.
What I did experience, however, was a day of intel-gathering, good ol’ fashioned target practice–and ultimately a rare glimpse into the fun-loving side of John McClane, our consistently cryptic and worldwide popular 21st century hero.
[IMG:L]9:00 a.m.
From my first steps inside the door of New York’s Westside Rifle & Pistol Range, I was able to deduce from the amount of aggressive signage and photocopied political cartoons that all were welcome to utilize the facility–except, perhaps, somebody with the leftward political leanings of Michael Moore.
When it comes to terrorism and intolerance, this humble range and its stoic, tattooed staff members meant business. Of course, I immediately thought of the one famed film hero who would feel quite cozy in such surroundings–and his name rhymes with insane.
I arrived ready for target training just as McClane would, because–let’s face it–accurate shooting can save your life. Throughout all four Die Hard films, the villains come across as the type of guys who couldn’t shoot water in a swimming pool. Time after time, the steel beams surrounding our protagonist take a beating, sending a shower of sparks fluttering towards the ground, but the smooth McClane always comes out unscathed.
The sad fact is: if any of Hans Gruber’s henchmen in the first Die Hard film had spent more time at this Westside Rifle & Pistol Range, then we would’ve never known a Die Hard 2. I began to feel a slight rush of power.
[IMG:L]9:20 a.m.
The guns and glory would have to wait, though, because the first task of the day was to be briefed on the very real threat of cyber terrorism by author and former intelligence officer Dan Verton.
McClane was never one for classroom schooling and he understands computer jargon way less than the concept of firing a semi-automatic weapon at a bad guy; but any information, no matter how fast it’d sail over his bald head, can help our hero in his endeavors.
By way of PowerPoint, the class of shocked McClane-wannabes learned from Verton that the technological brand of warfare employed in Live Free or Die Hard was right on point and hardly sensationalized at all.
“The movie got it right and the threat is real,” he claimed to a Hollywood.com reporter, who shivered with fear. “Of course it was a summer action-blockbuster, but they didn’t go so far beyond the realm of possibility; they depicted things that can conceivably happen in reality.”
I thought, could it really be that–with the flick of a few buttons–we’re on the brink of such a dire worldwide situation?
Hearing about how truly vulnerable our economic and security infrastructures are in 2007 may be enough to send you and yours truly packing, and on a mission to find the nearest underground hiding spot; however, it only further fuels the fire inside the daring Mr. McClane. And walking in his stalwart footsteps, I had to press on accordingly…
[IMG:R]1:00 p.m.
Next up was a conversation with retired NYPD undercover officer Vincent Penisi who was the essence of The Sopranos, Goodfellas, and Donnie Brasco all wrapped up into one smooth, well-manicured man. As an undercover cop for 16 years, Penisi successfully wedged himself into the close-knit circles of some of New York’s most notorious crime families.
By his own account, he has bought and smuggled over $100 million worth of drugs into this country–just to stay in the good graces of the bosses he attempted to eventually help convict.
Like John McClane, Vincent Penisi knows a thing or two about going above and beyond the call of average police duty. Their tactics may be different, but their desired end result is the same–rid world of bad guys.
I started to understand why McClane had such a sharp, singular focus on the enemy, the more and more all of my training opened my eyes to the underground world that all great detectives must be a part of–to both survive and succeed it.
[IMG:L]1:45 p.m.
It’s shootin’ time!
Now, don’t get me wrong. The guns that we got the opportunity to unleash our fury on at the Westside Pistol Range were no weapons of mass destruction. In McClane’s world of hanging out of a Jeep, upside down, with a bazooka aimed steadily at the getaway car ahead, these rifles might as well have been used to start the Kentucky Derby. No matter–it’s not the size of the gun that counts, but it’s the intimidation that your swagger can create.
It took me about three full rounds to finally mosey on down towards the bulls-eye; again, a leg up on the Die Hard villains of the world, but not on McClane, who would no doubt shoot circles around me.
John McClane gets briefed on the savvy state of today’s terrorist, chats with like-minded, ambitious NYPD officers, and finally gets the chance to take the frustration of always hearing the name ‘Gennero’ out on a paper target.
My day of stepping into the shoes of McClane had come to a close; however, as I soon learned, our night of stepping out like tough undercover operatives was just getting started.
[IMG:L]8:00 p.m.
Time to unwind and kick back…
To see the band Guyz Nite is to believe Guyz Nite. Decked out in American flag bandanas, cut-off denim, and ’80s hair-band wigs, this pack of wild bros from New York City can blister through a set of tunes like nobody’s business.
According to their official website: Guyz Nite touts themselves as the premiere rock band dedicated to the promotion of all things “dude.”
I caught up with the McClane loving Guyz Nite, whose song, “Die Hard” (a musical play-by-play of each part of the franchise), has been steadily climbing the charts within the “Most Awesome Dude Song” category for months. The song itself was used in a TV spot for Live Free or Die Hard.
[IMG:L]In the irreverent rock ballad Guyz Nite sings of John McClane’s never-ending quest to rid the free world of any semblance of a bad guy; meanwhile, we get a treat flashing back to McClane’s posse over the decades, including the unflappable Holly McClane [Bonnie Bedelia] and the memorable Zeus Carver [Samuel L. Jackson].
Turns out, the band’s ethos matches McClane’s to a tee. “Some guys fish, some guys bowl, and we rock. It’s as simple as that,” said Guy Manley, lead singer of the outfit.
To articulate the deep connection shared between the one-of-a-kind band and the gruff detective character in better terms, bassist Gunz “Mick” Bones explained, “We will never die!”
And, if you look hard enough, you could almost see the proud John McClane right there next to Mick, shoeless, bloodied–and now panting–following a long shift ‘at the office’.
[IMG:R]After a day of learning about cyber terrorism and trying to my get aim up to Die Hard standards, a night of drinks and rock was just what the doctor ordered.
John McClane may be an old school guy, but he still knows how to haaaang harrrrd in 2007!
We wonder what the next Die Hard installment will bring–either way we’re sure that the dedicated hothead McClane will somehow save the day.
