4 Most Batshit Insane Ways Batman Has Defeated Superman

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Warner Bros
Warner Bros via Everett

Back in 1952’s Superman issue #76, we saw Batman and Superman team up for the first time. In need of a little R&R, the two superheroes unknowingly book a stay on the same cruise ship. When they arrive on the ship, Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent find that the cruise has been overbooked. Despite Wayne being rich enough to straight up buy the cruise ship on site and make all the employees kiss each other or something, the two heroes accept the cruise line’s suggestion to share a cabin. Oh did we say cabin? We meant bed. The two even fight over the covers before learning about one another’s secret identities.

Ever since that first crossover, people have debated who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman and Batman fans have had to endure the same tired argument, “How could Batman even beat Superman? He doesn’t even have any superpowers!” What most people forget is that Batman does have superpowers: he’s super rich, super smart, and super crazy. This year, we’ll finally get to see Batman and Superman face off on the big screen. And while we probably won’t be seeing the two sleep together (that’s being saved for the R-rated director’s cut), we know Zack Snyder is going to be drawing heavily from the comics. Here’s all the bat-shit insane stuff Batman has done to beat Superman over the years.

1. Batman throws Lois Lane off a building

Batman #612, DC Comics
DC Comics

In Batman issue #612, Batman squares off against Superman. The Man of Steel is under the mind control of Poison Ivy, but Batman is able to hold his own thanks to a Kyrptonite ring. When Batman realizes he needs to take drastic action in order to win the fight, he enlists Catwoman’s help to kidnap Superman’s alliterative love interest, Lois Lane. You see, Batman believes that Ivy’s control will broken when Superman sees Lois Lane in danger. So Batman orders Catwoman to drop her off a skyscraper.

It turns out Batman’s theory was right (otherwise this article would be titled “4 Times Batman Was an Accessory to Murder”). Seeing his love in danger, Superman is able to break free of Ivy’s control and save Lois Lane. After which, Superman and Batman probably had a long talk about acceptable behavior. Speaking of which…

2. Batman tries to seduce Lois Lane

Superman: The Animated Series, Warner Bros
Warner Bros

You know what they say, if you can’t throw your best friend-turned-enemy’s significant other off of a Metropolis skyscraper, then you should try to have sex with her instead. In a crossover episode of Superman: The Animated Series, Batman takes a Don Draper style approach to problem solving when he starts dating Lois Lane. Clark Kent can’t reveal to Lois that Bruce is Batman without letting her know that he’s Superman. So basically, Superman has to sit idly by while Batman shows Lois Lane that she isn’t the only one with daddy issues.

3. Batman invents a kryptonite flavored gum

Batman: Endgame, DC Comics
DC Comics

In Batman: Endgame, the Caped Crusader squares off against “Joker-ized” versions of the Justice League. In order to defeat his former teammates, Batman instructs Alfred to enact plan Fenrir. Named after a Norse god, Fenrir is a robotic-armor designed by Wayne Enterprises specifically to subdue the Justice League. With the armor, Batman manages to beat Wonder Woman, the Flash, and Aquaman, before being attacked by Superman.

Superman quickly dismantles the armor, but before killing the Dark Knight, Superman takes a second to gloat about his victory. While Superman is monologuing, Batman reveals his latest gadget: a piece of Kryptonite-laced gum. Batman spits the Kryptonite gum into Superman’s eye, subduing the Man of Steel. That’s right, Superman was beaten by ABC gum.

4. Batman threatens to blow up innocent people

Man of Steel #3, DC Comics
DC Comics

Following some less than conventional plot lines in the 1970s, DC Comics decided to reboot the Man of Steel which allowed Batman and Superman to meet for the first time for a second time. In a 1986 issue of Man of Steel titled One Night in Gotham City, Superman (who isn’t a fan of vigilante justice) has his doubts that someone who calls themself “The Dark Knight” is really is a good guy and decides to confront Batman.

However, like a boy scout, Batman comes prepared. Batman prevents a fight by telling Superman that he’s wired an innocent civilian with a bomb that will blow up if Superman attacks him. Superman decides to let Batman go, but the story comes with an M. Night Shyamalan style twist: Batman is the innocent man. So basically, Batman ran around Gotham all day with a bomb strapped to his chest in the off chance he ran into Superman. You know what, Superman might be right: maybe Batman isn’t a good guy.

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