1. Super 8 Teaser Live Blog!
By now, you know the drill. One teaser trailer enters, then a man live blogs it!
:00 – :01: How does Paramount get an entire second of a 30 second teaser trailer for its logo? That’s three point repeating three percent of the whole trailer! To see a mountain logo we’ve seen plenty of times before! Does it still have 22 stars? Great, then stop showing it.
:02 – :03: Children growing up near power lines. This could be a class action suit courtroom drama a la A Civil Action.
:04 – :05: The film takes place in an era where kids still ride bikes. Feels like the ’80s.
:05 – :06: Aaaaaaaand Steven Spielberg gets a second. We’re at seven percent static images for this trailer.
:07 – :08: There will be explosions, and children will run from said explosions. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
:09 – :10: In their haste, the children drop a camera. Hey guys, that kind of behavior is why we can’t have nice things.
:11 – :13: Explosions, and J.J. Abrams gets his one second of fame.
:14 – :16: Fairly certain they were using a flame thrower to clear the field from Signs there.
:17 – :18: A voice says “Do not speak of this.” Ideally one of the children will come back with “You’re not the boss of me!”
:19 – :21: I think they got the camera back, so nice things are back on the menu. Everyone is being evacuated, so we can assume the flame thrower guy is still on the loose.
:22 – :24: If we do speak of this, they will find us? Hmmmm, maybe they ARE the boss of us.
:25 – :30: Wherever these kids go, it gets pretty explodey.
:31 – :32: Of course, more credits, why not? Still, interest piqued.
Super 8 could very well end up being the best homage of Steven Spielberg’s work that Steven Spielberg has ever produced. Come June, it will definitely be on like Michelle Kwan eating some flan.
2. Fixing The Titans Series
The Clash of the Titans has a sequel planned, Wrath of the Titans, which makes perfect sense given how profitable the original one was. Plus, marketing is always easier the second time around. But there’s a few items that need attending to this time around. Here’s the breakdown:
1. More Gods, Less Humans.
If your movie title involves the word “titans” then there needs to be some actual titans, not a bunch of humans with hurt feelings. Give us protagonists with powers facing off against one or two mortal men … not a boatload of them.
2. No 3-D.
Seriously, when will the madness end? The 3-D in Clash of the Titans was almost non-existent, though they still managed to collect the extra dollars for it.
3. Mmmmm, Rosamund Pike, yes please.
You had to have enjoyed her work in Pride and Prejudice. Don’t lie.
4. Push the release date two weeks to April 6.
Right now Wrath of the Titans is set to open against The Hunger Games in March, and we’ve already detailed what could go wrong there. But why open against another action film at all? April of 2012 is wide open. Let Hunger Games come out first. If it flops, you’re well positioned. If it’s awesome, you’ve avoided getting obliterated on your opening weekend. It’s time to blink Warner Bros., Lionsgate has you outflanked with their upstart franchise.
5. Release a Director’s Cut of Clash of the Titans.
After the film was released, it became apparent that massive edits had been made after the fact. Everything just felt a bit off. So why not release Louis Leterrier’s version for Christmas 2011? What’s the worst that could happen? It sets the franchise back on track? Yes, I realize the original made $493 million worldwide, flaws and all. Still, that’s no reason not to try harder. The Dark Knight made two and a half times what Batman Begins did. Shoot for the stars, Titans producers!
3. Limitless Looks … Good?
The surprise of last weekend’s Super Bowl was how decent Limitless looked. I haven’t seen Bradley Cooper show much range yet, but this looks to be the project which settles the issue. It also looks like a nice mash-up of Rain Man, Devil’s Advocate, and Bigger, Faster, Stronger. Intelligence meets temptation meets substance abuse. They moved the release date from January to March, another solid sign as trash is generally released in January … whereas March gave us 300. Plus, Bobby De Niro is due to have a good movie. So there’s room to be hopeful on Limitless.
On that note, I’m off to explore my limits.
Laremy is the lead critic and senior producer for a website named Film.com. He’s also available on Twitter.