Airplanes and Crop Dusters, Planes: Fire and Rescue
In the grand scheme of things, an animated movie about planes isn't that weird. Neither are two. But it's the specific kind of plane that Disney chose to be the protagonist of Planes: Fire and Rescue that confuses us, because of all the interesting varieties of planes in the world, they chose a crop duster. Not a jet, not a seaplane, not even one of those fun propeller-y ones. A plane that exists to spray things on plants. How exciting. But Planes: Fire and Rescue is just the tip of the iceberg, as movies are filled with all kinds of weird, bizarre and insane objects that come to life...
Walt Disney Studios
Toaster, The Brave Little Toaster
Before Buzz and Woody made it back to Andy at his new house, there was a ragtag group of household appliances who wanted to make it back to their Masters and avoid being sold with the house. Sure, a toaster doesn’t make quite the same amount of sense as a group of toys – after all, is anyone really all that attached to any of their appliances? – but The Brave Little Toaster paved the way for Buzz, Woody, Lightning McQueen, and even Dusty Crophopper, to one day follow their own destinies, wherever they lead them, and to make thousands of grown adults cry in the process.
A Tire, Rubber
Horror movies have a long history of possessed items driving people to their deaths, but until Rubber came along, nobody ever considered the terrifying potential of the humble tire. The plot of the movie centers around such a tire, which has become sentient and roams the countryside, blowing people up by staring at them so hard it begins to shake. Don’t ask us how it stares at them. It just does, and it’s hilarious.
Magnet Releasing via Everett Collection
Food Friends, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2
If you enjoyed the heartwarming father-son dynamic of the first film, why not watch the second film repeat that, only this time with Floyd’s father adopting a family of pickles? Why pickles? Who knows. Why does Sam get a strawberry sidekick who speaks in baby talk? Why is the entire island terrorized by a giant hamburger-spider? (Yes, you read that right.) Because you’ll pay full price for a ticket for it anyway, that’s why.
Columbia Pictures via Everett Collection
The Sorting Hat, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Forget Voldemort or Harry or even Dumbledore; the most powerful thing in the Wizarding World has to be the Sorting Hat. And it clearly knows it, given the amount of attitude it brings out at the start of every school year. We get that it’s probably tired of being picked on for being a ratty old piece of cloth, but a little kindness would go a long way.
Warner Bros. Pictures
Candlestick, Clock, Teapot, et al, Beauty and the Beast
Thanks to the charisma, sass, and the voice of Angela Lansbury, nobody has ever really questioned the household objects who were transformed along with the Beast by the witch’s curse. But seriously: a feather duster? A candlestick? A clock? When have any of these objects ever seemed to hint that they might have some personality lurking there, deep under the surface? It’s a good thing the writing and voice work was good, because honestly, who thinks about candlesticks?
Buena Vista Pictures
Playing Cards, Alice in Wonderland
With all of the crazy things that happen in Alice in Wonderland, it seems petty to harp on the playing card guards. And yet, we can’t help but wonder why playing cards we chosen to protect the queen. Who’s scared of cards? What are they going to do, give you a paper cut? What happens when it rains? Clearly, the Red Queen should have put a little more thought into logistic than aesthetics.
RKO Radio Pictures
Fridge, Attack of the Killer Refrigerator
Because there isn’t enough in this world to be afraid of, someone out there thought it might be best to give people a phobia of refrigerators. Either that, or it was written by a guy who ran a junkyard and got tired of kids sneaking in drunk and abusing the old fridges he had lying around. Those are honestly the only two possible explanations we could come up with for this movie.
Media House Productions
Sugar Bowl, The Sword in the Stone
If “ornery” or “sassy” are not words that you’d ever associate with a sugar bowl, you’ve probably never seen The Sword in the Stone, in which Merlin and a very disgruntled Archimedes (the owl, not the mathematician) battle with a feisty sugar bowl in order to finish packing up their tower. Although to be honest, we don’t blame it. No matt how small Merlin made everything, there was not enough room in that bag for everything to ride comfortably.
Buena Vista Pictures
Salt, Pepper, Shovel, Pail, and Side Table, Blue's Clues
The thing that is most confusing about Blue's Clues’ decision to bring thing like the salt and pepper shakers, the shovel and pail and the side table to life isn’t why they chose those particular objects, but rather the fact that I genuinely used to get excited every time they appeared onscreen to talk to Steve. Why? What was exciting about seasoning? Was I that desperate to get away from Steve’s inane questions? The clue is in front of you dude, just look down. You know what, never mind, I’d rather talk to the shovel.
Map and Backpack, Dora the Explorer
If Blue's Clues pioneered the “random talking objects” trope for children’s shows, Dora the Explorer perfected it, with the talking map – who introduced himself with a song that consisted of the line “I’m the Map,” repeated over and over – and backpack – whose theme song was only one word long. It makes sense when you think about it: since nobody uses a map anymore, it’s lost its ability to speak coherently. Personally, we blame Google.