Miramax via Everett Collection
If you are a Quentin Tarantino fan, then you have been having a pretty rough couple of weeks. After learning about his upcoming film — another western called The Hateful Eight — you probably started fantasizing about the cast. Then you started dreaming about how the movie would ultimately look, and wondering if it would be better than Django. It probaby wouldn’t be, but you’d still love it sooo much. And then the script leaked to the interwebs. And before you even got the chance to check it out, Tarantino himself came out and shut your whole world down. He ranted about the leak, and announced that he would not be making the film. Ever. Sure, he’ll make other films. But we have still suffered a great loss. And we must console ourselves with a collection of epic fight scenes from past Tarantino works, as we think of what could have been.
The Bride vs. Elle Driver, Kill Bill Vol. 2
Now, truth be told, every fight scene in Kill Bill belongs on this list (including the unforgettable Crazy 88 madness). But we have to start by reliving the magic of Beatrix and Elle. Pai Mei would have been proud, and the Bride proved that she was the definition of giving zero effs when she lit’rally stepped on Elle’s plucked-out eye. BAREFOOT! #dropsmic
Mr. Blonde vs. Mr. Orange, Reservoir Dogs
Because nobody does an ear-hacking/torture scene like the great Tarantino. Nobody.
The Bride vs. O-ren Ishii, Kill Bill Vol. 1
You know you wanted to have an epic sword fight in the snow after you saw this scene. Just, maybe, minus the scalping bit. Because … ouch!
Jules Winnfield vs. Brad, Pulp Fiction
Samuel L. Jackson deserves an Oscar for this scene, specifically for his delivery of the line, “Do they speak English in What?” Like, he deserves an Oscar this year. Right now. We don’t care that Pulp Fiction is 20 years old. Just get him the Oscar. Give him all the Oscars.
Mandingo vs. Mandingo, Django Unchained
If your dreams haven’t been haunted by Mandingo Fighters from a little place called Candyland, then you probably don’t own a copy a of Django Unchained. Get your life. And yes, these kinds of things did actually take place. Only in America.
Mr. Pink vs. All of Humanity, Reservoir Dogs
It may not have been a violent fight scene, but the tipping debate has gone down in history as the greatest moral argument ever to be captured on film. Ever.
The Bride vs. The Coffin, Kill Bill Vol. 2
Because sometimes your enemy is three inches in front of you.
Zoë Bell, Abernathy, and Kim vs. Stuntman Mike, Deathproof
Not sure there’s a better ending to any film, ever, anywhere.