If you’ve paid close enough attention to Paramount/DreamWorks Animation’s blockbuster Shrek franchise, you’d have noticed that nearly every beloved fairy tale character known to man has appeared in the series, from the Gingerbread Man to the medieval magician Merlin and everyone in between.
That got us wondering whether or not there would be any other bedtime stories to raid for new additions to the cast of the latest (and supposedly final) installment, Shrek Forever After. As it turns out, there were plenty more – so many, in fact, that a few had to be cut. Here are a few who didn’t make it into the film:
Keeping in line with the series’ “Team Green” theme, the filmmakers behind Shrek Forever After wanted to include Hans Christian Andersen’s cutest little veggies in their movie, but needed to find the perfect party of personalities to portray them. Fortunately, The Jersey Shore’s peppy group of potty-mouthed, pea-brained pests were happy to oblige. Unfortunately, petty squabbles led to bigger problems on set, which ultimately prompted producers to cut their scenes from the finished product. Bar fights ensued, but thankfully no Snookie was punched in the face.
Legend tells of a brood of noble brothers who used their combined talents to rescue a kidnapped princess – sounds perfect for a Shrek movie, right? Sadly, the Baldwins were either too busy to commit to the project (in Alec’s case) or just completely unemployable (the rest of them), so director Mike Mitchell settled for the von Wolfhausens, a motley crew of inebriated Germans. Their crude humor and untamed behavior proved too debaucherous for a PG-rated film, so Otto, Gunter, Rolf and Schlemmer were deported back to Deutschland, but not before showing Shrek how to prepare a killer Wiener schnitzel.
These siblings, like most, regularly argued over paltry matters like who gets dibs on the valiant prince, who gets to break in the new pair of glass slippers, etc. Who better to step into those shoes than Hollywood’s own set of Armenian-American princesses, the Kardashians? Anyone who’s seen their hit television program knows that quarreling is what Kourtney, Kim and Khloe do best and, like Alexander Afanasyev’s competitive girls, they will do whatever it takes to get their man! As predicted by franchise star Cameron Diaz, the trio of super-sized asses were simply too large for a 3D feature, so the Kardashians left the project to pursue other creative endeavors.
The Princess That Wore a Rabbit-Skin Dress
DreamWorks topper Jeffrey Katzenberg had just one lady in mind to don the most ridiculous gown in all of Far, Far Away. Her name be Gaga and unless you’ve been living under a stone mountain for the last two years, you know that a rabbit-skin dress is a piece of clothing that she’d wear whether she took the part or not. After sexually assaulting Shrek, Donkey and Puss In Boots during test shoots, the offer was rescinded and she was escorted off the soundstage.
The producers of Shrek Forever After courted creatures of all shapes and sizes for this role, including the feared Yeti of the Himalayan mountains, Warner Bros.’ Gossamer, The Addams Family’s Cousin It and Steve Carell. They eventually decided on a guy who had plenty of experience voicing animated characters; the hairiest creature in all of Tinsel Town: Robin Williams. To no one’s surprise, Mr. Williams began to systematically steal the show from the increasingly un-funny characters of the franchise and was told to go back to voicing more entertaining talking animals in Happy Feet 2.
