A new trailer for the highly anticipated The Amazing Spider-Man debuted last night online and at midnight screenings of The Avengers. Of course, I was quite excited by extended look at the reboot, but just watching the teaser left me asking so many questions. Sixty-six questions, to be exact. Here’s a list of queries I’m expecting the good people at Marvel Studios to spell out for me on July 3.
1. Why is Spider Man in a factory?
2. Why is he looking at his hand while hanging from a ledge?
4. Is Peter Parker a dock worker or just really fond of season 2 of The Wire?
5. How much does the penthouse of that Oscorp buliding cost? Probably a lot.
6. Did Ghost Rider just drive off a bridge?
9. Why is Gwen Stacy looking up in the rain?
11. Does it stink down there in the sewer?
12. How did Spidey get his webs to do that?
14. Why doesn’t that kid look anything like Andrew Garfield?
15. Why is Spider-Man always just hanging out on the tops of buildings looking at the city?
18. Is that mask comfortable?
20. And where did he get that costume anyway? It’s not like you can by the reinforced vinyl spandex at Mood or anything.
21. Denis Leary is playing a cop?
23. Is this going to be the only time we get to see Andrew Garfield shirtless?
24. Why are we even watching Peter Parker on his skateboard?
26. Who wrote that small knives joke? Funny!
27. Denis Leary is playing a cop who says grace?
29. What is Peter building and why did it just shoot in his eye?
30. What is Peter’s father erasing?
34. Who is asking about Peter and his father?
35. Where can we get some of those hexagonal windows?
36. How is Peter, a kid with no car, getting around and investigating his parents and going to visit some professor upstate?
38. I don’t know, are you ready to play god?
39. Holy s**t, what just got shot up into the sky?
40. Ew, what is that green stuff coming out of the lizard?
42. Denis Leary is shooting a gun as a cop?
44. Can Sally Field do anything in movies besides cry?
46. How much do secrets cost?
47. Are Spidey and the Lizard fighting on the ceiling like a Lionel Richie video or are they on the floor and the camera is just upside-down?
49. Why is Peter riding the subway upside-down?
51. What the hell is that glowing blue thing?
52. Why is Gwen hiding in the wall?
53. Do you like Emma Stone as a blonde?
56. Did the Lizard not smell Gwen hiding in the wall?
58. Why are Spidey’s eyes glowing blue?
60. Why is he sulking on top of another building?
62. Has yelling someone’s name in a comic book movie ever helped them?
64. Why does the spider in the logo have four really long legs and four short legs?
66. Are you going to go see this?
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan