‘The Iceman’ Cometh? More Like the Pornstache Cometh! — TRAILER

The Iceman TrailerWhen you’re trying to prove yourself to be one tough cookie in the 70s, you have two options: murder people or grow a mustache so thick and unctuous that it could be mistaken for a real, live pornstache. Welcome to The Iceman! And while Zamboni drivers everywhere may mistake this for the story of their fearless leader/creator Frank Zamboni (whose birthday is today, coincidentally!), this is one film where nothing is kept on ice. Unless by “ice” you mean “murder” because in that case, there is a lot of murder.

It’s murder and follicle foibles that make up the majority of The Iceman‘s trailer — featuring the acting (and hair work) of Michael Shannon, Ray Liotta, Winona Ryder, James Franco, and the most committed coiffure of all, Chris Evans. Seriously — look at that man’s luscious locks! (OK, so maybe they’re less-than-luscious. Maybe they’re more closely resembling a rats’ nest. But still!) If there was ever a prize for Method Hair-Growing, Evans would have that s**t on lock. His character looks like the type who would ask ladies to take a ride on his mutton chops. Women probably obliged by the hundreds (hey, this movie takes place in a weird, mixed-up, confusing time in personal hygiene. It was a different time, you guys. A very different time). Captain America, are you in there?

The thriller stars Shannon as real-life hitman Richard Kuklinski, who becomes a mob killer-for-fire in order to support his all-too-oblivious family. Kuklinski’s work in the murdering-people-for-money business was especially well-known: he offed (yes, offed) over 100 men before his capture in 1986. Check out the full trailer, below:

What do you think of The Iceman? Excited for the film? Let us know in the comments!

[Photo Credit: Millennium Films]

Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes


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Staff Writer Alicia Lutes is a corgi enthusiast from Connecticut living in Los Angeles. She loves Tina Fey, television, ugly things and really money cheese plates. Growing up, her grandfather frequently said, "you’re so god-damned good with words! You should do something with words with your life!" so she made it her quest to plaster her wordy witticisms across the Internet. She looks forward to retiring at the age of 80 and opening a fromagerie with a small army of wrinkly-faced and stumpy-legged dogs.