Let’s get one thing straight: the reason why the movies we’re so excited for end up tanking in the box-office is because we’re just too excited for them. But because they just look so good, we can’t help ourselves! We all agreed we’d be super amped for Scott Pilgrim, and we told all our friends and our bankers and the people who take our money at our tolls to get excited too, because it was supposed to be the movie of OUR GENERATION! But they must not have listened or got distracted by their cats because that movie performed horribly…even worse than the last time I tried to retrieve a stuffed animal using that claw from the “game” that sits outside my supermarket. But it’s okay, because there will probably be a sequel. We do, however, have to learn our lesson: which is not to let our outrageous enthusiasm become so evident once we see a trailer for the next CERTAIN blockbuster, so that the movie we WANT to succeed finally does.
So here’s the trailer for something we’re only looking forward to a little bit, but not really, because no I cannot. CAN’T DO IT. THIS IS TOO STIMULATING. Save the nonchalant protective covering for a Liam Neeson movie. The trailer for The Last Airbending Exorcism On The Left starring Miley Cyrus is worth re-wiring your whole house so instead of your doorbell ringing whenever someone wants your permission to enter your dwelling, they push a button and this plays on your television. Never again will you wish you had more friends to stop by.
