Crash! Bang! Boom! Hey, Look — somebody got all those middle-aged former action dudes together again! The new trailer for The Expendables 2 is out, and characters with the ridiculous names Yin Yang (seriously, dudes?), Lee Christmas, Hale Caesar, and Toll Road are back again. The movie, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis and Chuck Norris, is a romantic story of unrequited love in early Victorian England that follows the struggles of a ragtag band of men called The Expendables.
And in The Expendables 2, our still-middle-aged heroes (with the exception of the littlest Hemsworth, aka Miley Cyrus‘ boyfriend, aka Liam Hemsworth) are still blowing s**t up. And prepare yourself for a Terminator joke in the first 20 seconds of the trailer! So self-referential! (Fingers crossed they make a Die Hard joke, too, America.) I’m mostly excited about their berets and how much Norris nods his head in the trailer. Don’t believe me? Check out the trailer below, and see for yourself:
Because we’re not afraid to be service-y, we’ve made a list of the actors — in order of how explosive we imagine they’re going to be, from most to least:
1.) Novak Djokovic – Apparently the tennis star is making a cameo in the film as himself?
2.) Liam Hemsworth – Because anyone nicknamed “The Kid” in a movie generally tends to f**k a lot of s**t up.
3.) Bruce Willis – I mean, he did just star in Moonrise Kingdom.
4.) Jet Li – Because he was probably so offended by his character being named Yin Yang that he decided to burn the entire production down.
5.) Dolph Lundgren – He will break you.
6.) Randy Couture – What, is this guy a professional wrestler or something?
7.) Chuck Norris – I’m not even going to explain this one because it’s just too easy and I hate easy.
8.) Jason Statham – He sees his future, and it is very Stallone-y.
9.) Jean-Claude Van Damme – He’s Belgian.
10.) Sylvester Stallone – He’s too busy trying to keep his face on to pay attention/deal with explosions.
11.) Arnold Schwarzenegger – The world’s most exhausted automaton.
The Expendables 2 is in theaters Aug. 17th. I think the Oscars are sometime in February, so, you know, look out for this then, too.
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