20th Century Fox via Everett Collection
As a part of their ongoing quest to take over every aspect of media, Disney will be adapting original fairytale The Princess Bride into a Broadway musical. Now, before you say “Inconcievable!” think of the possibilities. Disney invented the mold for fantasy fairytales, then completely dismantled and reinvented it 50 years later. Besides, The Princess Bride is the rare cult film that’s family friendly and has a happy ending without feeling cheesy… not to mention the fact that “kissing books” tend to make great musicals. So with all that said, here are our best ideas for the Princess Bride soundtrack you’re sure to have on repeat:
“As You Wish”
A love ballad, first sung by Young Westley to Young Buttercup in the show’s opening. We see the stage transform from a sick boy’s room to Florin, the setting for the magical adventure.
“More Than a Farmboy”
Buttercup laments the loss of her love with this plaintative yearning song. (This is what girls will be singing in their auditions for years to come.)
“The Battle of Wits, Or, Never Go in Against a Sicilian When Death Is on the Line”
A Gilbert and Sullivan style patter song as the braggart Vizzini tries to outwit The Man in Black’s poisoned glasses scheme. The song is anchored by the rhymes provided by a helpful Fezzik.
As Inigo and The Man in Black duel, they also duel with their twin stories of revenge and woe in this “Confrontation” type confrontation.
Prince Humperdinck’s evil plan is revealed in this brassy song about just how much work he has to do before his wedding day.
“Max’s House of Miracles/Mostly Dead”
Westly is triumphantly raised from the dead in this comic romp, where he gets the opportunity to show off his physical comedy chops.
A huge production number that features dancing wedding guests, an easily exciteable clergyman, an angry prince, and the addition of “The Brute Squad,” a group of 6’5″ male dancers that thrillingly leap and thrillingly sneak into the castle with our heroes.
“Prepare to Die”
In this adaptation, Inigo dies onstage, but not before killing the six-fingered man and avenging his father, who appears in this dream sequence to usher his son into the afterlife.
“As You Wish (Reprise)”
As Buttercup and Westley ride off into the sunset, they reprise this now-classic love song.