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“The Thing About My Folks” Interview: Paul Reiser

Paul Reiser is having one of those years.

Driving to meet him for lunch at a lovely Miami resort, I ruminated about all the stuff he’s done–playing a weasel in Aliens, being one of two dads in TV’s My Two Dads, and his career altering turn as the lovable Paul Buchman on Mad About You. I sat at a table in the resort’s restaurant, overlooking the sumptuous swimming pool, with the swaying palm trees and sun-kissed bodies on chaise lounges. Things always seemed more relaxed when there are balmy breezes blowing and people obviously enjoying a nice vacation. Certainly, I was at ease, as I sipped my Evian water with lemon, waiting for Reiser to make his appearance. I let my mind wander a bit, wondering what the talented actor has been up to since Mad About You closed down shop in 1999? Plenty, he’ll tell you.

Reiser has been quietly working on various projects–but it’s the darling indie The Thing About My Folks, which opened Sept. 30, that has been his true labor of love. Starring Reiser and the venerable Peter Falk, the movie’s a very simple and sweet story of a man, Ben, reconnecting with his father after Ben’s mother supposedly leaves him. The father and son go on a road trip that changes both their lives. To put it bluntly, it was a story Reiser was desperate to tell.

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“I had this idea for the movie in 1982,” he explained. “People were asking me how come it took me 20 years to write it, was I that dumb? I wasn’t writing it, it was just floating in my head and periodically, I would think about it. But I always wanted to do it. Then a couple of years ago, someone asked me, ‘What if you had 12 months to live? What would you do differently?’ And I surprised myself and said, ‘I’d live the same life but I would have written that Peter Falk movie faster.'”

But Folks isn’t the only film with Reiser was in it this year. There’s also the hilarious The Aristocrats, a documentary featuring a slew of stand-up comedians, discussing the dirtiest joke ever told. Of course, Reiser, a standup comedian before he hit TV fame, is featured prominently (but discreetly never really tells the joke).

“[Aristocrats director] Paul Provenza calls me up and says, ‘We’re doing this documentary about this joke, could you help us out?,’ Reiser explained. “So I brought him into my office and we laughed our asses off. But that was two years ago. Now its coming out, getting great reviews AND its going up against my movie. So people come over and say, ‘I saw that movie of yours,’ and I say, ‘Isn’t it sweet?’ and they’re like, ‘You mean about the fist f***ers?’ Oh, you’re talking about The Aristocrats!”

And so began my lunch with Paul Reiser.

The Thing About Peter Falk

“Isn’t he something in this?,” Reiser asked me with true admiration in his eyes.

I pointed out that the relationship between him and Falk was so natural. “Somehow, I knew in my head, we would be good together. I get him, I know him, I love him. My wife met him and said, ‘That’s so your dad.'”

Reiser always had Falk in mind for The Thing About My Folks. “In fact, I had the idea because of Peter Falk. I saw my dad watching a Peter Falk movie and something clicked in my head. I gotta go make a movie for Peter Falk and me. What would it be? Then I tried writing it with a partner, I thought, ‘Maybe if I had a development deal and they were waiting for me to do it.’ But no, that didn’t work. Then I went to see Peter Falk in a play. Now, I’ve never told him about this idea before, but when I went backstage, he grabbed me by the shoulders and said [doing a spot-on imitation of Peter Falk], ‘Listen to me. I love everything you do and I love how you write.’ And I’m thinking, boy, if you ever knew. And then he said, ‘Did you hear what I said? I love what you write.’ Then it was like, OK, is there a bigger sign you’re waiting for? I had to go home and write this stupid thing.

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“It was also having kids, too. I was 27 years old when I had the idea and 47 when I wrote it,” Reiser continued. “And in that time, I lost my dad and had kids of my own. It was like, OK, I get it now. I know what fatherhood is all about. And you look at your parents differently. So, I wrote it pretty quickly. I mean, it took me 20 years and three weeks, but still it came out really fast and it came pretty much what’s on the screen. I looked at it and showed it to [Reiser‘s wife] Paula, the editor, and I asked her, ‘Am I drunk? Too tired? Or is this good?’ And she read it, laughed and cried and said, ‘It’s really good.’ So then I called up Peter Falk, but I didn’t want to scare him, saying ‘I’ve been thinking about this for 20 years, Mr. Falk.’ I dropped the script off at his house, and he called me that night, ‘Wellllll, we’ve gotta make this movie. This is good.'”

I commented it must have been such an experience working with Falk. Along with John Cassavetes, Gena Rowlands and Ben Gazzara, Falk could be considered one of the founding members of independent film.

“I’ll tell you what I learned,” Reiser told me, leaning in. “First of all, he’s got the gift. Secondly, he just works really hard. This guy has a work ethic that’s unbelievable, first guy on the set. He works and works. He was a little anxious about how much he had to say in the movie. He said, ‘Hey, I’m 76. There’s a lot of words here. My memory is staring to go. I don’t even remember where I live anymore.’ But he’d be in his hotel room, working. I don’t know what his process is but it turns out so great. Never a false moment. And he makes you get better. You know, like when you play tennis with someone who’s better than you, you play better. At least for that game. I was running all over the court.”

“Peter also has the greatest BS detector out of anyone I’ve met,” Reiser laughed. “At the slightest sniff of insincerity out of anybody, he’ll just call them on it. ‘Peter, we’re probably going to shoot right after lunch.’ [doing Falk again] ‘Now wait a second, probably? Or you are? Tell me because I need to prepare.’ He is a lot like [Falk‘s TV alter ego] Columbo. He is disheveled and a bit haphazard, seemingly lost and clueless. He is those things but then underneath is the brightest, sharpest laser brain you’ve ever met. And a bull. He could just knock you down. And he’s passionate. You get him talking about acting, about politics and he’s just full of fire.”

Reiser also had the great opportunity to work with the Oscar-nominated Olympia Dukakis, who plays Reiser‘s mother in Folks. “She’s in the movie for four minutes but she stamps it,” he stated. “Actually, Olympia played my mother in another movie, for Showtime [My Beautiful Son] and worked for two days. She came on this movie and worked for two days. Apparently, the woman can only tolerate being my mother for two days at a time. More than that would break her. But the two of them together, broke my heart. Olympia and Peter, those scenes… When they’re kissing in their 20s and then kissing in their 70s, that’s what it is. And they had never met five minutes before they shot those scenes. They were in wardrobe, ‘How are you? Nice to see you, good coffee this morning?’ and action! That’s what acting is all about.” I also pointed out to Paul how he keeps making these projects for other people to shine–Falk, Helen Hunt. What’s up with that? He shrugged, “I set up the shots.”

But then he smiled, “Nothing would make me happier if Peter Falk would finally win his Oscar for this. Not just as the writer but as a fan and a friend. It would be so great.” 
[PAGEBREAK]The Thing About Making This Movie
“I didn’t have any grand plans when I made this movie,” Reiser explained, in between bites of Cobb salad.

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“I just had to get it out of me. First it was, ‘OK, my friends are going to like this movie,’ kind of how I felt after I created Mad About You. Certainly, [Thing About My Folks] would work in Florida and in New York. But the thing that has amazed me is how wide its reaching. Everywhere we go, people totally get it. I had a Palestinian man in Kansas City said, ‘I love this movie. I’m going to come back with my children.’ You couldn’t get further away from the target demo. So, I guess its real. It’s my family, a Jewish family. Somebody said, ‘Oh, it’s the Jewish [My Big Fat Greek Wedding].’ I said, no, not really because that truly was about–Greeks. Yes, this is about a Jewish family, but doesn’t have anything to do with the movie.”

“People are also asking me if this was based on my family. Well, I never took that trip, my mom never left [his dad] but the conversations are real. I was visiting and my dad, he was 70, I think, and still working. My mom would say, ‘Can you believe its 7:00 and he’s not home yet?’ And I said, ‘How many years, why don’t you believe it? Why do you keep going through this?’ And she said, ‘Well, there’s always hope.’ And that just stuck with me. It’s so beautiful and so sad and so true. Yeah, you got to have hope, without hope you’ve got nothing. But oh boy, you could avoid a lot of pain if you just shifted a little. But that’s my mom in the movie. Olympia might be a little more fiery than my mom, but my mom is holding onto hope and holding onto love in the face of everything..”

“My mother still lives in New Jersey, and I said, ‘Ma, it’s a movie for you, a love letter to you.’ And she goes, ‘Yeah, so how come its always you and the father. Where’s mom?’ I tell her we are talking about her the whole time and she’s like, ‘Yeah, yeah, peddle somewhere else.'”

What about directing it himself? “I loved this movie too much to put it in the hands of a schmuck like me who never directed a film before. But also I already had my guts in it, I wrote it. So now let me go play. Go play with Peter Falk and have somebody else worry about the shots and somebody else collaborate with me. I can’t tell you how I had to fight people. My agent, ‘Why don’t you direct it?’ I’m only guy in L.A. that doesn’t want to do it.”

The Thing About Getting It Out There

Reiser confessed he hasn’t ever worked this hard promoting something. But he truly felt The Thing About My Folks is something special. And he wants everyone to jump on the band wagon if they feel the same way.

“We’ve put on about 130 free screenings. We’re saying, if you like this movie and want other movies like this, you got to vote loud, by buying a ticket,” Reiser said. “The theater owners don’t know they’re out there and the studios so don’t know they are out there. I can’t tell you how many people told me nobody is going to see this movie. And they are almost right because it’s an uphill battle. And there’s the unkind reviews, which to me is like kicking a puppy. Here’s this sweet movie and by the way, I think it’s terrific. I know you can get stuck in the thing like ‘My baby’s the cutest.’ But this isn’t just me. We had a standing ovation at a theater in Denver with 500 people. It’s a great feeling.”

“But I feel like this movie is my little baby and I’m training it and nurturing it and it’s just about to walk out on its own. And I’m just hoping it won’t stumble and walk into a freeway. Walk safely and walk over to the other side, so I can relax. I mean, people can dismiss it as being too talky. Well, yeah, they’re talking. But would you really rather see another truck exploding and bumping into a fruit stand?”

Does Reiser miss the limelight, after the whirlwind that was Mad About You? “Yes and no. I don’t understand why someone would want the limelight if they’re not actively promoting something. Granted, I’m very passionate about this and haven’t ever really worked this hard, going on all the talk shows, radio shows, door to door. But besides having something to talk about, why be out there?”

It was at this precise moment when five elderly ladies, gathering for a birthday luncheon, came over to our table, fawning all over Reiser. One of them, obviously the birthday girl, was carrying a gift. Reiser immediately swung into action. “So sweet that you got me a little something. A lot of people come over empty handed, but not you,” he teased her.

“Is it your birthday?,” she responded.

Then suddenly all five women suddenly started talking, asking him how he could have married that shiksa on Mad About You and so on. Another woman told him he looked just her son, while another one invited Paul over for dinner. Still another told Paul that he had lost weight since Mad About You and looked good.

Finally, after a few spirited minutes, the ladies adjourned to their respective table. “Literally, if I wanted to stage something, that would have been it,” Reiser laughed. I said we should have had a camera. Then Reiser called the PR rep traveling with him, “You just missed the funniest thing you’ve ever seen,” he told the person over the phone. “I’m sitting here in the restaurant and five golden ladies, all Jewish, came over and it was like a satyr gone crazy. And they want to go to the movie tonight, right after having me over for dinner. Come down and give them some tickets.”

Once he hung up, he turned to me, “That table over there can change the world.”

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