Welcome to the first installment of You Ignorant Slut: A Conversation with Sam and Eric! In this column we’ll take the big news of the week, converse with eloquent words on each individual argument merit and hopefully arrive at a compromise. If after careful review and discussion an agreement cannot be reached – then shit will go down. Seriously, Sam will tear a hole in someone’s neck if they disagree with him about Doctor Who.
Anyway! Yesterday, Christopher Nolan‘s so-highly-anticipated-we-can’t-think-of-a-word-to-actually-justify-our-excitement The Dark Knight Rises announced some major casting news: Anne Hathaway is joining the film to play Selina Kyle (a.k.a. Catwoman) and the already-cast Tom Hardy will play Bane. Exciting news, right? Let the games begin!
Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle, a.k.a. Catwoman
Eric: Oh, Anne Hathaway. You’re so easy to hate. Why? Honestly, I don’t know. You just seem to be one of those unfortunate actresses the media loves to laugh at. But really, I’m on your side. I do think you’re a fine actress and believe that joining The Dark Knight Rises is the best career move you could make. Mainly, because you’re going to be awesome.
For the haters out there, look at how she’s grown as an actress over the years. Yeah, I’ll admit it: The Devil Wears Prada is a guilty pleasure of mine. And sure, she had the world’s greatest actress Meryl Streep to support. But she held her own and following that she showed us that she’s capable of giving a gritty, personal performance with Rachel Getting Married. Bottom line? The girl knows how to act. Combine that with the magnificent direction of Nolan and we’ve got a mighty fine Catwoman on hand.
Sam: Four words: Love. And. Other. Drugs. If Hathaway is willing to be naked for half a movie then I think she has the chops to be in a Nolan movie. How does one support the other? I don’t know, but if we keep rewarding beautiful actresses with big roles for appearing naked in other films, then I am all for it. Pavlov FTW!
My problem isn’t Hathaway, it’s Catwoman. The character has been done before and I was hoping Nolan would try something different. Perhaps Harley Quinn? But that might just be me remembering the old Batman: The Animated Series and the strange things that got me aroused. That’s beside the point! Nolan managed to do new and exciting things with old staples like the Joker and Two-Face, so I’m sure he has an idea or two on how to make Catwoman dark, sleek, sexy and in no way reminiscent of Halle Berry.
Tom Hardy as Bane
Sam: I, for one, think Hardy will kick major ass as Bane. Sure he once looked like this, but then he did this little flick called Bronson and looked like this. How you can think he wouldn’t be right for the part is beyond me. He’ll beef up like crazy and give us one of the scariest villains ever filmed.
One thing I did learn about Bane after some research was that he is highly intelligent opponent for The Caped Crusader. My only excuse for not knowing this is that my only interaction with the character was the horrible, horrible, horrible Batman and Robin. I’m not a comic book nerd but I am a film junkie. Nolan isn’t big on the supernatural. I don’t think he’ll make Bane ten feet tall or anything crazy. He’ll limit him to a super strong and intelligent mad man but it won’t be anything ridiculous. And since Bane was the only villain to “break the bat” (he snapped his spine over his knee like a true bad-ass) then Nolan might even kill off Batman. It would be a totally downer ending, but this is The Dark Knight Rises after all. With that in mind, I can’t think of a better character for Hardy.
Eric: I’m with you, Sam. Hardy will no doubt be a bad-ass Bane. For example, let’s look at his role in Inception as the Forger. Not only was he able to present himself as an eloquent, charming British dude, but his character specialized in imitating the world around him. So as an actor, that’s got to be a dream role, right? And he nailed it. Not only did he create a compelling character for the film, but he showed off his chameleon-like skills by delivering a constantly evolving performance unlike any other in the movie.
As Bane, he’ll have the opportunity to manipulate Batman and totally mind-fuck him. And as much as I love Batman, I can’t wait to see Bane make him cry like a little bitch — at least for a little while.
Sam: Eric, you ignorant slut.
See you dickwads next week!
