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COMMENTARY: Blockbuster's Valentine Blunders
COMMENTARY: Blockbuster's Valentine Blunders
By
Don Chareunsy
|
Monday, February 14, 2000
|
Comments (0)
SANTA MONICA
- So, today's Valentine's Day, and there are many reasons to be bitter. (Being single one great reason to be bitter).
So, it didn't help that Blockbuster, that rental behemoth, last week released its Top 10 list of the most romantic films of all-time. Of all-time? Oh, really.
Consider:
10. "
The Wedding Singer
" (1998) 9. "
My Best Friend's Wedding
" (1997) 8. "The Thomas Crown Affair" (1968) 7. "
Jerry Maguire
" (1996) 6. "
Sleepless in Seattle
" (1993) 5. "
Chasing Amy
" (1997) 4. "
Sixteen Candles
" (1984) 3. "
Breakfast at Tiffany's
" (1961) 2. "
Pretty Woman
" (1990) 1. "
As Good As It Gets
" (1997)
So, OK, claws are out, and it's now open season.
How the heck does any movie starring
Adam Sandler
and
Drew Barrymore
(Isn't her Gosh-I'm-So-Earnest-Act Old Yet? "
Never Been Kissed
" should've never been watched.) qualify as romance? Suppose the film's romantic if you grew up in the '80s and left your mentality level back in the era.
Julia Roberts
and
Rupert Everett
are great. Heck, even
Cameron Diaz
was ditzy fun in "
My Best Friend's Wedding
." But how is the fact that
Julia
plays a controlling, neurotic, conniving mega-witch romantic? And there is no chemistry between
Dermot Mulroney
and her. He comes across as a frat-house clod.
Julia
and
Rupert
have the romantic chemistry in this film, but, alas, he's her boss and he's ... gay! "
Jerry Maguire
" might make a Top 20 list, but was it romantic when Goose died? (Oh wait, that was "Top Gun.") Or what about when
Tom Cruise
's bartender hero died? (Oops, "
Cocktail
.") Bottom line is, "
Jerry Maguire
" is good, but
Renee Zellweger
's voice ruins any romantic notions for most. She had me at ... goodbye.
And then there's the matter of "
Chasing Amy
" -- a very odd choice. Presumably this movie might be romantic if, um, you were a straight guy dating a lesbian. Now,
Ben Affleck
looks way cute with a mustache and goatee, but
Joey Lauren Adams
suffers from the same annoying voice affliction that's plagued
Zellweger
,
Melanie Griffith
and
Gretchen Mol
.
"
Sixteen Candles
" romantic? It's a COMEDY -- and a dated and offensive one at that, although admittedly funny when you're drunk and feeling nostalgic for the '80s.
To show that we're not completely bitter, we accept the fact that the second
Julia Roberts
movie to grace this list ("
Pretty Woman
") at least pairs her with a guy with whom she has chemistry. (Remember
Richard Gere
in "
American Gigolo
"? Hottie.) Anyway, "
Pretty Woman
" isn't a bad Top 10 pick -- except that
Julia
plays a hooker in this Disney flick, and that's kinda odd for a romance.
Finally, in what is possibly the worst No. 1 choice on a Top 10 list in the history of the world: "
As Good As It Gets
" is Blockbuster's most romantic movie.
What?!
Jack Nicholson
could be
Helen Hunt
's great-great-great-great grandfather in this film. His character also happens to be racist, sexist and homophobic. (He sounds hot. Give me his number -- not.).
Helen Hunt
is her same vanilla bland self,
Greg Kinnear
is just plain odd, and Oscar-winner
Cuba Gooding Jr.
is wasted. How
Nicholson
and
Hunt
won Oscar acting nods for a film that is, as good as it gets, a comedy, is beyond the realm of reasoning.
Where's "
Gone With The Wind
"? "
Casablanca
"? "
When Harry Met Sally
"?
OK, the V-D bitterness is gone. Claws are retracted.
I better run to Blockbuster and rent "Titanic" before it closes. (OK, maybe I already own three copies of it, but so what?)
|
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