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Martine McCutcheon: 'Depression ruined my life'

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Sep 22, 2013 | 6:10am EDT

British actress/singer Martine Mccutcheon has opened up about her seven-year battle with depression and chronic fatigue syndrome, insisting the illnesses have totally ruined her life. The Love Actually star's career has petered out in recent years and she was declared bankrupt in February (13). McCutcheon has now spoken candidly about the personal problems which led to her troubles, revealing she has been diagnosed with depression and chronic fatigue syndrome, also known as myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME). In a candid interview with Britain's The Sun newspaper, the star admits she struggled with fainting fits and was confined to a wheelchair after one particularly frightening episode, while she also piled on weight and felt too unwell to work. She stayed at home and went weeks without leaving the house, and at her lowest point, she confesses she felt suicidal, telling the newspaper, "I would pray to God I wouldn't wake up. I would just say, 'Please, whatever this is, it is making me feel so bad, just let it kill me'... I don't know if the ME or the depression came first, all I knew was life felt like hell every day... The longest I went without leaving the house was a month. I didn't want to see or speak to anyone. I couldn't cope with everyday things, even feeding my dog. The low point was when I was lying on the sofa and could not move. I felt suicidal... I did think it would be better if I just didn't wake up." McCutcheon's financial problems spiralled out of control after she lost an endorsement deal last year (12) due to her health troubles and she was unable to pay her bills. After filing for bankruptcy, debt collectors took most of her possessions, even her precious engagement ring. She adds of losing the ring, given to her by her husband Jack McManus, "I burst into tears. I was devastated... I had given them everything I had, so when the ring went as well, it was just heartbreaking." McCutcheon admits the bankruptcy proceedings set her back in her health battle, but she is now making good progress and hopes others suffering from depression and ME will appreciate her speaking out about her condition.

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