The former U.K. tabloid editor insists he gets very little pleasure out of being shuttled around America for talent show auditions - because host Nick Cannon and his fellow judges Osbourne and Howie Mandel are the worst people to be stuck on a private jet with.
He says, "Although it sounds very glamorous, it's actually hell... Howie Mandel doesn't sleep and just cracks jokes for six hours and then you have Nick Cannon who just tells you boring stories about Mariah Carey.
"There was a trip from Atlanta to L.A... and I'd fallen asleep finally, and I woke up to a commotion and I saw Howie, I think it was..., with a video camera... and I looked up and Sharon Osbourne's naked breast was in my face.
"I actually thought I was having some hallucinogenic nightmare and then I sort of blinked and I realised it really was Sharon standing there with her naked breasts in front of my face... They're very expensive... they are indisputably impressive, but, at three in the morning, after a long day's filming, it's not what you want.
"In the background, there's a cackling Howie Mandel and I've got Nick Cannon going, 'I can't wait to tell Mariah about this.' I'm like, 'This is hell on earth'."