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Ouch! Roseanne Barr Gets Comedy Central Roast: 5 Meanest Jokes Ever

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Jun 25, 2012 | 12:52pm EDT

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She's been a lightning rod for controversy for decades. And now Roseanne Barr will be in the hot seat — the very hot seat at her very own Comedy Central Roast, the network announced today. 

"All I can say is good luck finding anything about me to make fun of... I mean, I've never made a mistake or offended anyone in my life!" the comedienne/actress/wannabe President joked Monday in a statement. 

Oh, it's gonna get ugly. Need proof? Here are 5 of the worst, meanest, cruelest Comedy Central Roast jokes ever:

1. “Charlie, you claim to have ‘tiger blood,’ but after all the porn stars you’ve [had sex with], it’s probably Tiger Woods’ blood.” — Seth MacFarlane at Charlie Sheen Roast.

2. "I love Larry (King). He recently quit his show. He plans on spending his retirement opening a jar." — Jeffrey Ross at the Donald Trump roast. 

3. "It's no coincidence George Hamilton loves the sun. They were born in the same year. The difference is the sun is actually a star." — Lisa Lampanelli at the David Hasselhoff Roast. 

4. "I always wanted to know what Andy Dick would look like if he went to the gym." — Mario Cantone addressing Kathy Griffin at the Joan Rivers Roast 

5. "Bob spends more times on his knees after a big audition than Mary-Kate does after a big meal." — Susie Essman at the Bob Saget Roast. 

Comedy Central's Roast of Roseanne will film in LA on Aug. 4, and will air premiere on Aug. 12 at 10 p.m. ET.

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