While we try to maintain a diplomatic attitude on most pop culture phenomena — seeking out the riches in even the most lowbrow of our society's artistic output — we cannot, for the life of us, go on forgiving the Harlem Shake.
Sure, maybe when the pandemic first broke, we were willing to identify an iota of plausible merit in the rhythmic quavers of its participants. But the statute of limitations on our benefit of the doubt has long expired, and our animosity has kicked into high gear. The "musical" institution has overtaken the minds and bodies of otherwise innocent communities and Hollywood creations, the latest inflicted realms being cartoon series, soap operas, sports teams, and your unemployed neighbor who can somehow afford a top-of-the-line video camera a professional dance lessons. And we've had enough.
And we were already super close to "enough" before these latest additions to the wave...
The Simpsons was once a prophetic satire, a mainstay of primetime television, now having fallen from grace to the depths of Harlem Shakery. Hardly the embiggening display.
The long-running soap opera All My Children indulged in some wacky plotlines over the years — love quadrangles, blackmail attempts, incest... but never anything as treacherous as this.
Proof that the Harlem Shake is bad news? It'll actually get you fired. That's what happened to these Australian miners who performed the song and dance number while on the job...
While some Miami Heat fans thought the days of disappointment were behind them, they had yet to stumble upon this locker room rendition of the melodic travesty.
Come on, people! You're supposed to stay seated on airplanes for a reason! Did any of you even read the in-flight safety pamphlet graciously afforded to you free of charge by your airline hosts?!? (Yes, I'm that kind of flier)
So take heed, world. It's no longer a carefree expression of a fun-loving attitude. Join the new movement: Break the Shake.
Follow Michael Arbeiter on Twitter @MichaelArbeiter.
[Photo Credit: YouTube]