Deep down, around the same place we store the fact we ate our boogers as kids, we want Lindsay Lohan’s stint in jail to finally help her kick the drug and alcohol addictions. But how can she turn her life around or “learn her lesson” if she’s going to get something like $1 million for an interview when she gets out?
No lies, jelly pies! PopEater reports, “The irony is Lindsay is in demand. The bidding is over $500,000 for the rights to the pre-jail interview, the prison diary and the first chat when she’s released.” What do they expect to hear once she gets out? That jail totally sucked? That she knew of people smuggling drugs up inside themselves and that was scary because she’s used to carrying her stash in a Louis Vuitton? Riveting.
We all know Lindsay won’t serve even close to her entire 90 day sentence – she’s most likely to get out (if she keeps her behavior in check) around day 23. In order meet the requirements of an early release, she’s seeing a psychic for guidance. If we’re talking about the same girl, she’s bound to keep a diary and then turn it into a book, which will be placed on a shelf next to a Martha Stewart cookbook and yet another Chelsea Lately book with a faux-alcoholism title.
We walked down a similar road when Paris Hilton was offered $1 million to give an interview after she went to jail in June of 2007. But after a few media sources withdrew their offers, Paris was forced to talk to Larry King on CNN FOR FREE! Since King’s retiring, my money’s on Lindsay opening up to Oprah because she’s big on forgiveness and redemption (James Frey surely doesn’t agree).
We’ll just have to wait and see, but if Lindsay makes $1 million for telling stories about what it was like in jail, we might have to one-up Charlie Chaplin and eat ourselves out of insanity.