Chelsea Clinton has already finished planning her extraordinary wedding in upstate New York for July 31st. But if she's smart, she'll throw the tulips from Holland into a nearby pond somewhere, make like a celebrity and do the cool thing by secretly marrying Marc Mezvinsky...and then telling us about it later, when we're all caught up in the latest Conan O'Brien controversy.
The last couple to get hitched without us knowing was Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green. But their thunder recently relocated to that of Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom, who married each other sometime this month and are already honeymooning somewhere (probably on an island that mysteriously appeared in their good-looking honor). A spokeswoman from David Jones, an upscale Australian department store that uses Kerr as its ambassador, said "given the exiting news that Miranda and Orlando have recently wed and will be enjoying their honeymoon together, Miranda will not be with us" for the August 3rd launch of a spring line. Australia is ridiculously ahead of everything, right?
Miranda released her own statement, which said "I am enormously grateful to David Jones to have been given this time to enjoy such a special moment of my life. I look forward to coming back to Australia in the near future to celebrate with family and friends. David Jones very graciously released me during this period so we could celebrate an intimate ceremony and honeymoon together."
Congratulations to the happy couple. I hope they can break the curses that usually accompany "model and actor" marriages.