Donald Trump's daughter, Ivanka Trump, announced this morning on Twitter that she and her husband, Jared Kushner, are expecting their first child together. She said the two of them couldn't be more excited. The infant is expected to be birthed directly into a gold crib, which is a good thing because during any other season it would have been too cold. Also, ivory would have been too cold against his or her cheeks (even in the summer) and a crib woven together out of cattails wouldn't support him or her in the way that the heir to money itself requires. Additionally, it will not be adorned with animal figurines, as the parents plan to instill in him or her the ability to make something where there is nothing at the earliest possible age.