This week in ridiculous Charlie Sheen news, the warlock insists that he has a chance at returning to Two and a Half Men. Last night, in a Boston radio interview, Sheen announced, "There've been discussions, but I was asked not to divulge anything." My guess is, you can't divulge anything because there isn't anything, but hey, he's a completely stable, not crazy, 100 percent reliable source of information, right? Oh right, he's a nutjob. (Or see my alternate theory: he's not a nutjob, he just plays one on TV and in real life and any where else people will let him talk.)
It does, however, seem like he's actually trying to earn his job back, or at least have the semblance of trying to earn it back. (Seriously, I don't think we'll ever know what he's serious about and what he's just doing for show. I guess he is actually a warlock...kind of.) He said in one of his New York shows that "of course" he's like his job back. Well, tough shit. He did bring this measly multimillion dollar lawsuit against Chuck Lorre and he slung a bunch of slurs at him. No big deal.
He also included this gem in his "put me on Men again" interview: "Had they told me at the end of Season 8 that that behavior wasn't going to be cool, I would have adjusted it." Um, I'm sorry, Mr. Sheen, but were you not aware that acting like a complete maniac was probably not a good idea? Do you really need someone to sit you down and tell you that doing copious piles of cocaine and going on benders with porn star companions is probably not a good idea? Does someone really need to outline how not to be an asshole for you to do it? I call bullshit. Because, DUH (he can bill me 15 cents for using his reference later) doing pretty much everything Sheen did is not "cool." Grow the fuck up.
Oh, and here's the worst part of this whole mess. The ratings for CBS' Monday schedule have taken a hit since Men hit the skids, so it actually makes SENSE for them to give him another shot. That means that if it happens, he will have proved that he could act like biggest maniac to grace television in years and STILL be able to score a solid TV job that makes him millions. SERIOUSLY. Oh what was that noise? No big deal, it was just the sound my face hitting my desk because this is just so BANANAS.