E!'s epic two-episode special taking us inside Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' wedding begins this Sunday, and the whole thing will last about four hours. Now, that's a time period that's longer than we're used to, as many of the things that we do on a day-to-day basis do not take four hours to complete. And so to make the endeavor of watching the special in its entirety seem less daunting and impossible, Kim and Kris have spent some of this week inoculating us by appearing here and there so we grow tough enough to last through the entire four hours of the show.
The first way Kim and Kris tried to build up our immune system was by appearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. In the first segment of the interview, they talked about what it was like for Kris when he first met Jay Leno seven or eight years ago, and how Kris had just finished restoring a car. Then Kim admitted she hated old cars, and all of us at home realized we could listen and devise a reliable way to remind ourselves to buy toilet paper at the same time.
In the second part of the interview, Kim said she purposefully wore a dress that had a full bottom so that Kris would have a hard time twirling her around and dancing their first dance (Kim hates dancing so she wanted to do as little of it as possible). Then she admitted that her brother Rob is a much better dancer than her. And THEN, since Kim changed into three different dresses over the course of the wedding, Kris informed us that Kim forced him to change jackets twice because she didn't want to feel awkward. At this point in time, viewers realized they would never contract the West Nile Virus.
And the promotion will continue today, when Kim and Kris will appear on Ellen to renew the wedding vows they said just about six weeks ago. You know, to validate their love, because it isn't just about tiaras and dresses and penthouses and stupid old cars that are stupid because they aren't new. But on the bright side, by the end of today none of us will have a problem sitting through four hours of Kim's Fairytale Wedding. Which, I don't know about you, but is a very big relief for me!