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An Ode to the Three-Breasted Woman of 'Total Recall'

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Aug 02, 2012 | 11:42am EDT

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ALT

When I say Total Recall, the first thing to come into your mind is not Arnold Schwarzenegger or Mars or Sharon Stone or even the new remake with Colin Farrell. No, what you think about is that lady with three breasts. That is the one thing everyone remembers from Total Recall: the hooker tricked out with an extra prosthesis on her chest. So in honor of this timeless beauty I have composed an ode to her.

An Ode to the Three-Breasted Woman

Oh muse, you stand, chest to the sky.

The warriors and vandals

Grab as they walk by.

But permission is not granted for free

As they look for your mounds

Numbering one, two, three.

You offer your bounty, but, oh for a price

Your patrons are numerous

As they're satisfied thrice.

Your body so gorgeous, svelt, supple, and tanned

Is wasted by your suitors

Without that one extra hand.

Search as they will, through brothels and bars,

But they'll never find a beauty

Like the three-titted goddess of Mars.

Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan

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