Actor Daniel Baldwin has opened up about his cocaine addiction in a series of confessional video diaries, taped for news special Primetime.
The actor agreed to be filmed at various points during his rehab recovery at the Renaissance Malibu facility in California for the news show, which aired on Tuesday night.
According to TV sources, Baldwin taped more than 20 video entries in the course of his three-month treatment.
In one entry, Baldwin confessed, "I've been very thorough in my recovery and identified where I am powerless... I'm truly powerless over cocaine. There's no question about that in my life."
The actor added, "I want to get things fixed so quickly," but admitted he has now accepted that addiction will be a part of his life forever.
He resolved, "I will never recover. I will just always be in recovery and stay sober, so I pray."
Fighting back tears, the struggling actor, who has been battling addiction for 18 years, added, "I have such horrible feelings of guilt and shame when it comes to what I've done.
"I'm a die-hard coke addict. In one month I was up for 11 straight days without eating or drinking, except water."
And Baldwin also recalled the night he feared his cocaine addiction would kill him: "I did a really big hit, as they call it, and I remember lying down, putting my head up and going, ‘God almighty, imagine, I'm going to go in a hotel room.'"
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