There are three types of award show acceptance speeches: Ones that make you laugh, ones that make you cry, and ones that make you cringe and cover your eyes. The Oscars are a little heavier in the "cry" column, but the Golden Globes, everyone's favorite drunk uncle of award shows, typically has a nice mix of all three. True to form, the clips included in this list of the 10 best Golden Globes acceptance speeches will all make you feel something, whether happy, sad, or both.
When Sacha Baron Cohen accepted his 2007 award for Borat, did you expect anything less than an inappropriate, hilarious anecdote about his costar's testicles?
Bette Midler balked at telling the bawdy joke she'd planned when accepting her award for New Female Star, Motion Picture in 1980. "I have to be tasteful, they told me," she said before doing it anyway, complete with hand gesture: "I'll show you a pair of golden globes!"
Solving the age-old problem of acknowledging everyone who deserves to be recognized in a speech, Hugh Laurie wrote the names of all 172 people who deserved to be thanked for his 2006 House win on individual pieces of paper and pulled three at random from his pocket. Congratulations to his hair stylist, script supervisor, and agent!
Mary Louise Parker is a funny lady, as evidenced by her 2004 win for her role on Showtime's dark comedy Weeds. It's also evidenced in her acceptance speech, when she thanks her son for making her boobs look great in her dress. "Janel Maloney just told me she would pay me $1,000 if I thanked my newborn son for my boobs looking so good in this dress. So, get out your checkbook. William Atticus Parker, thank you so much from your mother," she joked.
If the sight of a gigantic, mustachioed man bawling doesn't make you cry immediately, you will when Ving Rhames calls up Jack Lemmon and dedicates his 1998 award to the acting great.
Perhaps it's the genuine shock on the actor's face, the true joy of his castmates and friends, or the emotional speech: Either way, Chris Colfer's 2011 win for his groundbreaking role on Glee will give you the chills every time you watch.
Although Mo'Nique is known for her comedy, winning for a movie as heavy and emotional as Precious meant a heavy and emotional acceptance speech in 2010. "I celebrate this award with all the Preciouses, with all the Marys. I celebrate this award with every person who's ever been touched. It's now time to tell. And it's okay," she said.
Jamie Foxx's speech after his 2005 win for Ray was more joyful than anything, but the tears began to flow when he thanked his grandmother. "I used to think it was corny when people would say that people were looking down on you. I didn't believe it. But I got a feeling.''
Perhaps the most famous Golden Globes gaffe of all: Minutes passed by after Christine Lahti was announced as the winner of the 1998 TV Drama Actress award. When she finally made it to the stage, she revealed that she was late because she was in the bathroom when her name was called.
National treasure Meryl Streep started off her 2012 acceptance for Iron Lady with a joke directed at controversial host Ricky Gervais before launching a scatterbrained hodge podge of thank yous that included an s-bomb along with a very sweet tribute to her fellow female nominees.
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[PHOTO CREDIT: Vince Bucci/Getty Images]