Folks, get ready to ogle. The cast Disney has lined up for its developing film adaptation of the Stephen Sondheim musical Into the Woods hails from the realms of critical acclaim (Meryl Streep as the witch), indie fandom (Johnny Depp as the wolf), and Broadway purism (James Corden as the baker). And now that the project has stockpiled itself with gravitas in all of the highbrow categories, it's shooting for the real important stuff: the eye candy. The lookers. The strong-jawed distractions from that nuisance that is the film's actual plot. The Hollywood Reporter reports that Into the Woods is in talks with handsome actors Chris Pine and Jake Gyllenhaal to fill this void.
Pine, who headlines the upcoming Star Trek Into Darkness, and Gyllenhaal have been linked to the musical's two princes, and love interests for the characters Cinderella and Rapunzel. One of the drawbacks of being sculpted by Heaven's Michelangelo? The characters will be entrenched in some seriously obnoxious arrogance.
So now that James Kirk and the Zodiac hunter are in discussions with production (Hollywood.com has reached out to their reps for updates on their status), the ultimate question burrows into our brains: Not "Which will be a better fairy tale prince?" Not "Can either of them actually sing?" But "Who's hotter?" Yes, objectification is okay when the targets are attractive, bearded alpha-male types.
If it helps your decision at all, Pine sure does pull off that interstellar fury like a Shatner of days long past...
Follow Michael Arbeiter on Twitter @MichaelArbeiter