So this is going to be awesome: Summit Entertainment is reportedly courting perennial bald person Bruce Willis to star as Ray Breslin in the prison escape thriller The Tomb, with Training Day director Antoine Fuqua the likely candidate to direct. Willis will play a world-renowned prison security expert who is framed and incarcerated in the unescapable stronghold he designed himself. It will take all of his knowledge of escape techniques and survival skills to break out of his own prison and hunt down the man who put him there.
OK, so that probably sounds oddly familiar to anyone who saw the first season of Fox's Prison Break, where Michael Scofield is a structural engineer who, in hopes of helping his brother break out of prison, goes to work for the designers of the prison in order to get its blueprint tattooed on his body. Or maybe I'm thinking of the Robert Schwentke thriller Flightplan, in which Jodie Foster's character must track down her kidnapped daughter while on board the plane she herself designed.
You get my point: The Tomb will probably be unabashedly derivative. But do we care? Hell no! Sure, this sounds like basically every movie Willis has ever been in - but there are a hundred reasons we keep coming back for more of his silver fox kick-assery, including, but not limited to, his ability to jump out of an eighteen-wheeler on the highway onto the back of a F-35 jet or destroy a helicopter with a police car.
The Tomb's script was written by Miles Chapman and has been rewritten by Jason Keller, while Robbie Brenner and Mark Canton are set to produce. But really, all that is relevant is that this movie is going to feature Bruce Willis doing what he does best: being a bald old badass who kills bad guys while dropping sweet one-liners. So unless The Tomb somehow turns out to be some kind of slow, understated drama, I'm going to give this one a preemptive two thumbs up.