Film director and explosion lover Michael Bay is set to produce a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot with his studio, Platinum Dunes. Brad Fuller and Andrew Form will also produce, and have begun meeting with writers. Turtles will be the first foray into action for Platinum Dunes, the studio responsible for horror remakes Friday the 13th, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and this year's Nightmare on Elm Street.
The Turtles have been subject to a number of reboots and reimaginings since their initial adaptation from comics to TV in 1987, most recently in 4Kids animated series that ran through 2009. No word yet on what incarnation the film will stay closest to, but odds are they'll to a try to appeal to the audience of the original 80's cartoon by laying on the nostalgia.
It's easy to see why Bay's studio bought the rights to the film, as he has extensive personal experience adapting childhood cartoon favorites by making them as terrible as is humanly possible. Personally, we're hoping that the film goes for a "dark" and "gritty" reinterpretation because, honestly, they're turtles. Turtles named after renaissance artists. There's no way to take this stuff seriously, and trying to do so will make the film hilariously bad. And if it ends up hilariously bad, at least it will be entertaining, as opposed to Bay's other work which is just straight dull. Still, it's sad to see Michael Bay try his hardest to outpace George Lucas as childhood-rapist of the decade. It's not a race, you guys.
In the meantime, in case you didn't already have it stuck in your head, here's the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song.