I believe in the transitive property absolutely. If A = B and B = C, then A will always equal C. No questions. If this applies in the realm of mathematics, it must also apply to the arts. Since we’ve just seen the Red Band trailers for The Mechanic and No Strings Attached, it follows suit that the things not seen in the green band trailers of both are of equal “shock” value. For instance, hearing Mindy Kaling say “I’m single as fuck” is just as “bad” as viewing a naked female breast for two seconds. But perhaps my greatest discovery is finally concluding that looking at Aston Kutcher’s ass is like watching someone get shot in the head. You’re welcome America.
No Strings Attached stars Natalie Portman and Kutcher, was directed by Ivan Reitman and hits theaters on January 21st while The Mechanic, an action thriller (and remake of a pretty bad-ass Charles Bronson flick) stars Jason Statham, Ben Foster and Donald Sutherland. It blasts its way into theaters on January 28th.