Summer is barely getting going, but Oscar season is already breathing down our necks. Come November, talking animals and explosions will be a thing of the past, an instead we’ll be forced to watch non-talking animals and explosions set to sad music that teach us about the horrors of war. At least, that’s the impression I’m getting from the new trailer for War Horse.
Steven Spielberg’s film, alternately titled Just Ship The Awards to My House, Thanks, tells the story of a young man named Albert (Jeremy Irvine) whose beloved horse Joey (Some Horse) is sold to the calvary. Albert, too young to enlist, decides to follow his horse into the trenches of World War One. It’s an inversion of the usual Homeward Bound plot, where a beloved pet follows its owner around the country. The relative unknown Irvine will be accompanied by many other attractive British men, including Sherlock’s Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston (Thor), and David Thewlis (Harry Potter). Unfortunately, because it is a WWI film, they will all be contractually obligated to wear awkward mustaches.
War Horse will be released on December 28th. Until then, we’ll be taking bets for who’s going to die- the boy or the horse. Because WWI films aren't known for their happy endings.