When I was in eight grade, one of my best friends threw me a surprise birthday party. She accidentally forwarded the mass e-mail invitation to me. Needless to say, come party time, I was unsurprised. But not half as unsurprised as I am at the news of another Transformers movie in the works.
I know. That was quite possibly the most roundabout, unwarranted, horrendous introduction to a story on all of the known Internet. The worst part is, it's not entirely true. But that comes with the territories. The Internet, eighth grade, friendship: they're all fertile grounds for lies and deception. I'd now like to segue from the word 'deception' to the formal name 'Decepticon,' and to reiterate that there is, according to Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, a fourth Transformers film being planned.
Hopefully it's planned a little better than my eighth grade surprise party, which may or may not have actually happened (it's hard to tell now). One thing's for sure: neither event will have involved the presence of Shia LaBeouf. The Transformers series star stated previously, right around the time Dark of the Moon blastsploded into theaters, that were a fourth film to develop, he would not be on board. His reasons? The will to grow, experience new types of filmmaking, and to create different characters and stories. A pretty noble rationale. Far more noble than that behind his absence at my eighth grade surprise party, if you ask me.
But the former Sam Witwicky won't be the only one expected to Shia-way from the inevitable Trans4mers. Michael Bay has been suggested to relinquish his directorial chair unto another filmmaker looking to get on board with the wildly successful franchise. Shia mentioned around the same time he made his own statement of eventual absence that Bay would likely not be interested in a fourth movie. Bay currently has his sights on Pain and Gain, a crime film on a much smaller scale than that to which Bay is accustomed.
So, new star, new director...we may be saddled up for another Transformers movie, but it's shaping up to be one unlike its three predecessors. Maybe a new director will offer an entirely new perspective on the interplanetary war between the Autobots and the Decepticons. Perhaps new audiences—if there are indeed ones untapped by the first three movies—will be drawn to a different vantage point. Or, perhaps we'll be in for Transformers: Jumping of the Shark...a ruination of the incredibly popular series. Nobody knows this for sure. The movie itself was something we could all hang our hats on...but what we're in for with this movie? Well, that'll be much more surprising.
Much like my eighth grade birthday. Which I imagine you're beginning to suspect I spent alone.