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'Mad Men' Preview Predictor: What's Going On Behind Closed Doors?

May 21, 2012 | 2:04pm EDT

ALTWell, it looks like I didn't fare too well during my first round of the Mad Men Preview Predictor. To be precise, I went 0 for 5. But who could have guessed from Harry's vague lines like "They're derived from reality, but they're hopes and dreams" and "He's sort of been threatening to stop by lately" that it meant he was going to reconnect with Paul Kinsey, who is now a Hari Krishna? Not I, not I.

Still, I'm going to give it another shot. Maybe when I hear this week's lightning-fast, could-mean-absolutely-anything dialogue in the preview for next week's ep, I'll have a vision about what will unfold. So, here goes:

Pete:  "Close the door, please." Ah, the ol' Mad Men teaser trailer favorite. If you only watched these little 30-second previews and not the actual series, you'd think Mad Men was an AMC drama about a very windy office whose doors are in constant need of re-opening and closing. This time Pete has the nerve to tell Don –– DON –– to shut the door. Please, Pete. Automatic doors were probably invented so that Don Draper didn't have to be bothered with opening or closing them ever again. My hunch is that this latest closed door meeting is to talk about the Jaguar account, but it could be Pete finally confessing to everyone, once and for all, that he is the world's biggest douche. 

Joan: "You have to stop being afraid." If Joan says it, it's true. So don't worry Lane (or at least what appears to be the back of Lane's head) maybe that fraudulent check you wrote won't be so scary after all. Prison on the other hand...

Trudy: "Let's stop playing games." Ohhh, this isn't Yahtzee she's talking about, folks! Something tells me Trudy found out about Pete's indiscretions, or at least has called him out on his very late night returns from the train station, and is calling him out on it. (Hence the closed door douche meeting in Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce!)

Ken: "We wanna know why you wanna pull the ad." You're killin' me, Heinz! From the sounds of a relaxed Ken and a happy-looking Peggy, my guess is this is a mock trial conversation, not a frenzied call, for what could happen in a worst-case scenario with Heinz. Again.

Bert: "He just came right out and said that?" I know, we can't believe Mel Gibson most of the time either, Coop.

Megan: "A wife is like a Buick in a garage." Either Megan is getting back in the advertising saddle or she's auditioning for the part of Wifey the Car in the off-Broadway play Vroom Vroom, You're Married.

Don: "What can I do for you?" Uh, anything. Absolutely anything. (I know I shouldn't want that flirty remark to be directed at Joan, but dammit, I can't help it!)

Watch the teaser here and come up with your own predictions for what's cooking for next week's episode:

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