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The Official Democratic National Convention Drinking Game

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Sep 04, 2012 | 12:23pm EDT

ALTEvery four years, Americans get to witness the pinnacle of human achievement and healthy competition as our nation's best and brightest fight their way to the top on national television. Then, mere weeks after the Olympics' closing ceremonies, we have to suffer through the Democratic and Republican National Conventions.

This year, the conventions are bound to be worse than ever as a hurting economy and a level of partisanship that defies all logic and reason will inevitably cloud intelligent discussion on the issues we should be caring about. So, to save ourselves from disappointment — and our televisions from things being hurdled at them — we've created a drinking game for each convention that should hopefully take the edge off.

This week, it's time for President Obama and his merry band of Democrats to take the stage. We bet they won't mention that whole bin Laden thing. Nope, they would never do that.

Take One Drink:

— Whenever someone says "forward"

— Every time you see a suggested Twitter hashtag

— Every time Sasha and/or Malia look bored

— Whenever "Romney economics" are mentioned

— Whenever Occupy is mentioned
— Whenever 2016: Obama's America is mentioned

— Every time someone reminds us that things sucked in 2008
— Oh, hey, remember Osama bin Laden? Remember that time Obama had him killed? Yeah, take a drink every time someone happens to mention that.
— Obamacare. Drink up.
— Is that Harold and Kumar star Kal Penn? We'd say hit a joint, but this isn't that kind of game. Drink!

Take Two Drinks:

— Every time Romney's tax return comes up

— Every time you see a combover

— If Obama brings up a sports team he likes
— When Michelle Obama's attire is mentioned. Bonus drink if they mention her physique
— Also, bonus drink again if she mentions her work with fat kids
— Every time you see a random Hollywood celebrity
— Same-sex marriage talk in North Carolina? Awkward. Drink up. 

Take Three Drinks:

— If anyone mentions the White House beer. Bonus shot if Obama himself calls it "tasty"

Bill Clinton sighting!
— Every time Obama sings
— If you hear a Joe Biden train joke (or mention)
— When you see a desperate housewife or a hot actress named "Jessica"
— If Obama tears up during a speech

Waterfall: During any mention of/allusion to Eastwooding.

Follow Shaunna on Twitter @HWShaunna

[PHOTO CREDIT: Getty Images]

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