NBC's The New Normal is a delightful show about a not very ordinary gay couple trying to have a surrogate daughter with a strange woman who has an oddball child and an unbelievably bigoted (and funny) grandmother. NeNe Leakes is also somehow involved. As much as it would like us to believe that this is the way the world works today, like most Ryan Murphy shows it is a celebration of the oddities within all of us. Therefore this weekly feature is both a celebration (and indictment) of all the abnormality contained within it.
Normal: Having cravings when you are pregnant.
Abnormal: Hiding your cravings for fast food when you are pregnant from your gay nutritional overlords.
Normal: Being politically active.
Abnormal: Requesting an absentee ballot takes a lot of work. What makes you think that anyone who would go out of their way to get a ballot from the state of Ohio (PS – What is Ryan Murphy's deal with Ohio?) will have their mind so easily swayed by people who want to replace her Double Double Animal Style (that was In-N-Out, right?) with organic carrots that are brown.
Normal: Having a cute theme song for your sitcom.
Abnormal: Having a cute theme song for your sitcom where the shoes are supposed to represent the characters. So, which of your fashion-conscious gay characters are gonna wear those ugly Aldo knockoffs they use for men's shoes?
Normal: Going to visit your gay friends.
Abnormal: Barging into a gay household unannounced and uninvited and calling them racist.
Normal: Supporting Richard Nixon.
Abnormal: A pregnant lady shouting that she "likes Dick." (That was real funny though.)
Normal: Being upset that someone called you a racist.
Abnormal: Being upset that someone called you a racist after you've gone around your whole life calling every ethnic, sexual, and social minority disparaging names. Where do you think people got the idea that you're a racist?
Normal: Talking about whether or not your friends are diverse.
Abnormal: Having a whole conversation about whether or not your friends are diverse and failing to mention that you happen to work every day with NeNe Leakes.
Normal: Asking guests at your party pointed questions.
Abnormal: Asking guests at your party pointed questions about the color of their skin.
Normal: Being a young girl who writes fan fiction.
Abnormal: Being a young girl who writes fan fiction about Charlie Rose.
Normal: Wearing a green velvet tuxedo jacket. (OK, that's not normal, but go with the joke here.)
Abnormal: Wearing a green velvet tuxedo jacket with some shirt underneath it with a barely exposed print that makes your shirt look like it either has a yellow stain on it, you have a banana in your pocket, or you are happy to see me.
Normal: Having a party at your house where you tell the guests to invite everyone they know.
Abnormal: Having a party at your house where you tell the guests to invite everyone they know when that party is also sit-down dinner where you have enough chairs, enough food, and everything goes smoothly.
Normal: Bringing a pie to a dinner party.
Abnormal: Bringing a chocolate pie to a dinner party after everyone has seen The Help. You might as well just pull down your pants and take a big steaming turd right in a pie plate in front of everyone.
Normal: A half hour screed about supporting Barack Obama.
Abnormal: A half hour screed about supporting Barack Obama where a black character says he's going to vote for Mitt Romney so that people think that the show is actually fair and balanced when actually there should be a picture of Obama at the end where he says, "My name is Barack Obama, and I support this message." Oh, also Ryan Murphy hosted a dinner party fundraiser that Barack attended, so why is he even trying to pretend like his politics are even?
Normal: Sneaking fast food so that your boyfriend doesn't think you are a fat slob.
Abnormal: Sneaking fast food so that your boyfriend doesn't think you're a fat slob and looking like this.
Normal: Believing in affirmative action.
Abnormal: Believing in affirmative action for determining your friend group.
Normal: Imagining Dora the Explorer as president.
Abnormal: Oh please, she can't even explore Arizona freely without being asked for her papers, how do you think she's really going to become president. Let's get real people. The Easter Bunny has a better chance.
Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan
[Photo Credit: Trae Patton/NBC]