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'Two and a Half Men' Should Fire Angus T. Jones

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Nov 27, 2012 | 10:29am EST

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Two and a Half Men is sort of an odd show. It's one of the biggest comedies on television in terms of ratings but, unlike critics' darling Modern Family, no one will cop to watching it. We never really read too much about it in the media (which collectively seems to think the show is beneath them) until a scandal breaks out. Then it's all we can talk about about and usually something drastic happens. We launched into this cycle yesterday when Angus T. Jones, the titular half man, spoke out against the show. Now it's time for something drastic to happen. CBS should fire him.

For those of you who don't watch the news, read the internet, or pay attention to that little screen in your office elevator that tells you the temperature and the news of the day, Jones recorded a video for the ForeRunner Chronicles, a website for born again Christians. "If you watch Two and a Half Men, please stop watching Two and a Half Men. I’m on Two and a Half Men, and I don’t want to be on it," says Jones. Well, that leaves no option for Chuck Lorre and the makers of the show but to tell Jones to not let the studio door hit him on the way out.

Imagine if you stood up in the middle of your job and said, "This place sucks. It is awful and toxic and you should not buy any of the products that we're selling and I'm going to call up all our customers and tell them to do the same. Someone ate the yogurt in the fridge with my name on it and I don't want to be here." Would you get to sit back down and keep toiling away? No, Shelly from HR would be over at your desk with an empty box and that, "We need to talk," smile on her face before your butt even hit the ergonomically correct cushion. And rightfully so. You choose to work where you do. Yes, we all need a job, but if you hate it that much and think it's such garbage, then you should quit. If you lobby against the very enterprise that is paying you (in Angus' case, to the tune of $300,000 an episode) they should not pay you anymore.

This wouldn't be hard for the show. Jones' character Jake has essentially already been written off the program. After high school he joined the Army and now only pops by to make guest appearances. Well, why don't we ship him off to Afghanistan (or Germany or Tokyo or someplace else where we have a military presence) and be done with him forever. Sure, he's in the title, but so was Shirley and Lavern moved to L.A. without her. And the show seems to be very resilient to changing the cast. Charlie Sheen was infamously fired from the show after getting in a heated and quite public argument with Lorre, the show's creator. He was a full man in the title yet his character was killed off, he was replaced by Ashton Kutcher, and the ratings barely took a hit. In fact, there was a momentary surge in the ratings after he left.

Jones' potential firing is not a reflection on his Christian beliefs. No one is telling him what to believe, but his new-found faith seems to be the reason the 19-year-old (who has been earning a paycheck from CBS for 10 years) hates the show. "People see us and think, 'Oh, I can be a Christian and be on a show like Two and a Half Men.' You can’t. You can’t be a true God-fearing person and be on a show like that. I’m not okay with what I’m learning, with what the Bible says, and being on that television show," he says. The argument for him being fired has nothing to do with his faith, but with his public crusade to sink the man who signs his paychecks. The show does not seem shy to fire, so maybe Jon Cryer should be the last original full man standing.

Jones was not scheduled to film the last two episodes that are being shot this year, so why not just make it official and give him a pink slip for Christmas (still nominally a Christian holiday)? His tirade seems like it would be a fire-able offense for any employee. Why should TV stars be any different?

Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan

[Photo Credit: Cliff Lipson/CBS]

More:

'Half Man' Angus T. Jones Blasts 'Two and a Half Men,' Pleads You to 'Stop Watching'

Charlie Sheen is Officially Fired from 'Two and a Half Men'

'Two and a Half Men': Miley Cyrus' Bizarre 22-Minute Monologue

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