Sex. Oh, sex. You weird little thing that everybody loves to do because it feels real nice and makes you closer (sometimes!) to the person you like to kiss on the mouth. The only thing is that, well, sometimes young people want to have sex! And sometimes that is scary: STDs! Babies having babies! Children being cooler and having more sex than you! Sex is complicated and sometimes clouds your rational thought process.
This week, Dr. Lahiri and everyone at the practice have sex on the brain. Big time. Danny Castellano gets a surprise note unveiling his very first sexual harassment complaint: apparently Morgan stares at Shauna's chest from time to time, and it's making someone (cough cough Betsy cough) uncomfortable. Too bad for him, though, Danny can't pass this one off to Mindy because she's dealing with a sexual crisis of her own: her formally-young neighbor, Sophia, is looking to get between the sheets with her boyfriend Henry. They're in love, you see...and going to be together forever: it even says so in his email signature. And we all know that true love lies at the bottom of electronic correspondence! But Mindy, being the smart adult lady with immense amounts of knowledge that she is, decides she needs to meet this Henry character and judge for herself whether he's mature enough to sleep with her dear Sophia.
Unfortunately for everyone, sexual insecurity is running rampant in this episode. Betsy's real (yeah, real awkward!) reasons for lodging the complaint with Danny quickly reveal themselves: she's afraid no one thinks she's sexy. And what do all normal, totally rational professional ladies do when they're feeling unsexy? Ask their bosses to tell them all the great things they have going on physically, natch! In a word: oy. But the awkward revelations continue: during a lunch date gone horribly wrong, Josh divulges his life philosophy: he doesn't understand how humans can spend their entire life with one person. Commitment! Ahh, scary! Sex is so much easier than commitment.
In the end, BFF Gwen's words of wisdom keep Mindy from going off the deep-end on Josh, and the two even agree to just see what happens in the future department. And while she did get escorted off a high school campus for talking about how "totally bangable" an underage student is (hypothetically! Yep...still gross), Mindy did managed to dispense some information and condoms to a group of girls in need. Sex! Let it unite us, not divide us.
As for the dos and don'ts of dating when you're a kewl teen ready to DO IT? Look no further than below. Bask in that beautiful information pool, teenz! Who knows, you might need this information one day. You wish you had this information when you were 16 23, silly adults!
1.) Do read: Because reading is cool!
2.) Don't take lewd behavior lightly: People should respect you, not treat you like you're just another copy of the novelization of the Iron Man movies.
3.) Do get an HPV vaccine: Safety first!
4.) Don't be afraid to ask for birth control: Safety first!
5.) Do NOT call boobs "a healthy set of plumpies": Because...ew. Also: offensive!
6.) Don't over-think slime: Duh.
7.) Do marry Captain America: ...you don't need an app to tell you that.
8.) Do not ask your boss if you're pretty: What are you, Captain Unprofessional?
9.) Don't be afraid to ask the hard questions: Catch is really weird between two grown-up dudes, so it's good to know about your man's stance on babies.
10.) Don't ever settle: You deserve the best!
11.) Do give condoms to kewl teenz: Safety first!
12.) Don't forget: herpes is forever: Which is longer than most relationships. Google Image Search that s**t.
[Photo Credit: FOX]
Follow Alicia on Twitter @alicialutes
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