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'AHS: Coven' Recap: It Just Got Real (Season 3, Episode 4)

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Oct 31, 2013 | 3:00pm EDT

American Horror Story, Season 3FX

American Horror Story: Coven is getting shadier than an episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. The episode begins in 1961. A young African-American boy is innocently riding his bike home from his integrated school. Then he’s cornered by a bunch of racists. Cut to the beauty shop, where apparently Marie Laveau is planning on working until the end of time. After the nuclear apocalypse, there will be roaches, Cher, and Angela Bassett doing weaves. How is it she is immortal, able to control death but she itching to spend her free time teasing out curls? Way to be racist, AHS. After a rather intense child murder, Marie reveals a new power….copyright infringement! She reanimates The Walking Dead zombies to enact her vengeance. All this before the opening credits.

Precious Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) survives her failed seduction of the Minotaur by smelling the alcohol on Fiona’s (Jessica Lange) breath. We find out Marie Laveau negotiated a truce with Fiona’s predecessor Anna-Lee Leighton (Christine Ebersole). Bassett also wears a gratuitously stereotypical afro wig. Cordelia Foxx (Sarah Paulson) may be unable to conceive but her sexy husband Hank Foxx (Josh Hamilton) has no difficulty hooking up with a townie on a work trip. He also has no problem shooting her in the head.

After Madison Montgomery’s grisly murder at Fiona's hands, Nan (Jamie Brewer) summons the witches council. They can best be described as Marmie, Crimpy, and Sassy. Pimbooke (Robin Bartlett) is a spitting image for the mother in Little Women. Myrtle Snow (Frances Conroy), and her heavily crimped hair, return after her brief appearance in the first episode. And, Leslie Jordan plays Leslie Jordan...as a witch.

A flashback reveals that Myrtle is the Guardian of the Veracity of the Vernacular. Sadly, it doesn’t mean she has Quidditch season tickets. Instead, she has the power to seek out the truth. She tries to find out who murdered Anna-Lee. We finally learn how Spalding (Denis O'Hare) loses his tongue.

The episode ends with zombies descending on the house. Luke Ramsey (Alexander Dreymon) stops by to give Nan a treat. And someone plays a trick on Cordelia by throwing acid in her face, original gangster style.

What We’ve Learned

The creative minds at the American Horror Story Studios are pushing some sort of racist agenda. First, American Horror Story: Asylum features a gratuitous Nazi storyline that fizzled with no real payoff. Now there’s a woman in an afro wig, gratuitous use of the word "colored" and a lynching. They are taking white magic/black magic a little too literally. For shame!

Bassett clearly did not read the whole script!

Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts) may not have been the true Supreme. If Cordelia is to be trusted, Madison may have had a heart condition that was proof she was just a trashy telekinetic.

Spalding is in love with Fiona, wearing women’s clothes and keeping dead teenage girls around for tea. As you do.

Hamilton is not afraid of filming a freak nasty sex scene. This is his second in three episodes.

Queenie’s voodoo doll powers cannot be used defensively. Also, Minotaurs don’t like big girls. Their loss.

It looks like next week someone is getting burned. Is it the person that burned Cordelia? Is it Marie Laveau? Or does Fiona orchestrate the murder of one of the other girls?

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