Community made its triumphant return last night with two new back-to-back episodes. Relive the double-header with our 15 favorite quotes!
On what's really important.
Jeff: "Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless, but I still got one thing deep down inside that gives me power — *repo man takes his whiskey away* — yep, that was it. That was all I had."
On important emotional and safety upkeep.
Dean: "After you and your friends left, it was closed for sentimental reasons. And asbestos reasons."
On Donald Glover's imminent departure.
Abed: "A repiloting can be intense. New people show up, regulars shift roles or even fall away. Season 9 of Scrubs, Zach Braff was only in the first six episodes."
Troy: "Son of a bitch! After everything Scrubs did for him?"
On throwing blame around, willy nilly.
Britta: "That's like me blaming owls for how bad I suck at analogies."
On missing minor characters.
Troy: "You guys feel weird about doing this without ... Magnitude?"
On not even being worth a Winger speech.
Jeff: "No monologue for you. Give me your tie."
On any excuse for a good Troy cry.
Troy: "I'm much sadder than the rest of you. I will figure out why later."
On Nicholas Cage.
Abed: "But is he good or is he bad? Every actor is something. Robert Downey Jr, good. Jim Belushi, bad. Van Damme, the good kind of bad. Johnny Depp, the bad kind of good."
On, oh snap, your over-achieving girlfriend is here to whip you into shape.
Chang: "Awwwww, she in yo class, yo!"
On I knew it!
Buzz: "Teachers don't have to explain minuses. Why do you think we invented them?"
On confusing threats and Greendale assignments.
Jeff: "What the hell? He gave you a dead rat?"
Annie: "No! This is my witness intimidation project."
On getting into character.
Abed, as Nicholas Cage: "I'm a cat. I'm a sexy cat."
On losing your religion.
Shirley: "Well, if you're looking for something to believe in, I know a skinny little Hebrew handyman you can meet."
On having Jonathan Banks in the cast.
Buzz: "I'm taste-testing rations for the shelter I'm digging."
Troy: "Are you the coolest person in the world?"
Buzz: "I doubt it."
And finally, on the Dean's musical French-lady inner-monologue.
"I'm lonely because he's not learning Excel.
I'm dying because he's not learnng Excel.
Like the sailors who smoke cigarettes on the canal
But Excel won't be learned today
My thoughts...are French."