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Why the 'Scandal' Kids Should Stay at Boarding School

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Feb 05, 2014 | 5:00pm EST

Scandal, Tony Goldwyn and Bellamy YoungABC Television Network

For as long as Scandal has been entertaining us with nutty plot twists, censor-straining love scenes, and absurdly unethical politicians, the two older children of Fitzgerald (Tony Goldwyn) and Mellie Grant (Bellamy Young) have stayed at boarding school and above the fray. They should probably remain there.

We were getting used to the oft-mentioned Jerry and Karen as perpetually unseen characters in the grand tradition of Maris of Frasier and, of course, Ugly Naked Guy. There's something so brilliantly old-school about characters who only exist through anecdotes.

But we've all got to come home some time. And according to TV Line, teenage Jerry and Karen will be doing just that in episode 15 of this season. As much as we appreciate new characters for adding even more turns to Scandal's twisty plot, we can live without watching Fitz and Mellie's drama ruin the lives of their poor offspring. And, make no mistake, the kids' visit with their parents won't be without drama. The news of their casting comes soon after the revelation that Jerry, the oldest, might actually be the product of Fitz's father raping his daughter-in-law. Jerry might come for a visit just to learn that his dad is actually his brother. Next stop: emotional trauma. Just another day at the office for Scandal.

Even without that awful family secret to contend with, Jerry and Karen will surely have a host of other dysfunctions to endure. Will Fitz and Mellie use the kids to wage war on one another? Most likely. Will dad's former colleague and current mistress drop by in a fabulous ensemble? Almost definitely. We're sure the food isn't great at that school of yours, kids, but it can't be worse than jumping head first into your parents' toxic playground of mind games. Stay in your dorm rooms and barricade the doors.

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