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Stephen Colbert Talks Failed Bullfighters: Late Last Night

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Jun 03, 2010 | 5:00am EDT

  Stephen Colbert Talks Failed Bullfighters: Late Last Night

Someone needs to tell Fallon, Leno, Letterman and Kimmel that Memorial Day was a good three days ago. It’s time for them to get back to work, because as of now, all the late night jokes are coming from J. Stew and Colbert…which is fine for us, because those two are more than capable of taking care of business, but it’s just not very fair. Everyone has to pull they’re own weight, you know? Second grade life lessons, y’all.

Stephen Colbert spoke about a pressing issue that isn’t getting much attention lately, due to the catastrophic oil spill in the gulf: bull fighters who’re not very good at bull fighting. In fact, bull fighters who are so bad at bull fighting, bulls’ horns go into their necks and come out their mouths.

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Craziest F#?ing Thing I've Ever Heard - Gored Bullfighter
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And in last night’s “tip of the hat, wag of the finger,” a Chinese factory now makes their employees promise not to kill themselves by signing “I pledge allegiance to my life” contracts after 10 workers jumped to their death. Of course this is tragic, but not as tragic as being made to sign your name at the bottom of a document that says you can’t kill yourself.

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Tip/Wag - Foxconn, Charles Taylor & Naomi Campbell
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J. Stew

touched upon some international conflict in “Clusterf#&k to the War House.” (That is a nightmare to type.) He talked about the war from the 50s, about which Korea controls the Korean Peninsula and North Korea’s recent sinking of a South Korean battleship. Then he talked about how Israeli soldiers raided a flotilla of ships carrying aid to Palestinians in the Gaza strip. I’ll admit I know conflict is terrible, but it all just makes me wish I paid way more attention in history class, instead of staring into my teacher’s blue eyes.

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Clusterf#&k to the War House - Korean Peninsula & Middle East
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And J. Stew interviewed Morgan Freeman, who as far as I’m concerned, should be paid to read the phonebook out loud because his voice is so bloody fantastic. But oh, wait! He’s narrating a documentary for the Science Channel, about how our earth was formed way back when dinosaurs thought they owned the place. So I guess we’ll just have to settle for that right now.

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Morgan Freeman
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