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Mickey Rourke's Bad Haircut: Late Last Night

Aug 06, 2010 | 8:26am EDT

  Mickey Rourke's Bad Haircut: Late Last Night

Last night, Mickey Rourke told Jay Leno how he tried to cut his own hair, and failed. He also talked about being in Thailand for a few days because that’s the prompt that Leno gave him and the prompt they’d rehearsed, but you could tell Mickey had no recollection of even packing a bag. He did his best to go with it, because he's sober now.

Then he talked about his new movie, The Expendables. But before that, he told a story about once having the opportunity to beat up a dwarf, but deciding not to because he had a hump on his back.

Mark Wahlberg shared with David Letterman what it was like to be attacked by an octopus. He should have gone to Lego Land two days in a row.

Other than starring on Rescue Me, a pretty good show, the only other thing Denis Leary is good for is talking about how his kids are leaving for college whenever he’s on a late night talk show. That’s it, that’s what he does. He probably drives a truck, goes shopping for Canola oil at supermarkets and maybe combs his hair, but that’s only to practice for a show like Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and explaining how his nest is perpetually "soon to be empty."

Stephen Cobert talked about how a California judge overturned Prop 8, which prevented same sex couples from getting married. The judge responsible happens to be homosexual, and Fox News pointed out he’s “in a stable same-sex relationship…” and “might wish or even expect to wed.” Stephen proceeded to mourn for the good old days, where a fight between two gay men was more entertaining than getting a bunch of Furbies together and watching them beg each other for food.

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And Jon Stewart also talked about Prop 8, and showed us how on the ball CNN was, because once it was overturned they hustled themselves over to gay bars around the state and asked people how they felt about the news.

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