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Mark Cuban Jumps The ‘Shark Tank’

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Sep 20, 2010 | 10:02am EDT

Mark CubanMost people would settle for being a billionaire. Not me. I want to be so rich, my entertainment is watching other billionaires compete against each other. Needless to say, Cash-Money was not a nickname of mine in school.

Anyway, Mark Cuban is set to be a guest judge/panelist/“shark” (their term, not mine) for ABC’s Shark Tank. Basically, the show is American Idol for the entrepreneur, where contestants pitch their products or ideas to a board of panelists who will choose to invest in them or not. So it’s a merger/acquisition meeting dramatized for the American audience. Riveting.

Cuban should make for at least somewhat entertaining television. He’s a big personality but hasn’t become the characterization of himself like Donald Trump. Also, there is the very good chance he will curse someone out for not running hard enough.

The show will be in its second season and feature other celebrity investors, like Jeff Foxworthy (I wish I was kidding). And like many of our favorite trashy reality shows, it’s an import. So whenever someone tries to tell you that the rest of the world is blowing the US out of the water when it comes to education, this show and the thousands of others like it are Exhibit A that we’re all bound together in our love for stupid television.

Here’s how dumb this show is. Two of the ideas pitched that they said “yes” to are a machine that makes push ups easier and a company that buys and sells college class notes. An idea they said no to was underwear that protects you from farting. So they basically liked ideas that make cheating in class easier and fat people feel like they’re exercising when they’re not but they get all uppity when they have fart proof boxers presented before them. I’m sure Cuban would go for the Poopless Panties (I’m not sure if that’s the name they went with, but if not, they missed one hell of an opportunity). He seems like the kind of guy that farts a lot.

Source: Hollywood Reporter, Wikipedia (which has a surprisingly detailed account of each episode)

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