David Hasselhoff was the first dancer voted off of Dancing with the Stars last night, and people are saying it was a TOTAL SHOCKER. But it wasn’t like you tried playing the piano upside down with your right hand crossed over your left hand and realized you were good at it: this guy is Germany’s mascot and believes pin lights are better used on his leather jacket than on an Avenue Q puppet.
Anyway, Hasselhoff’s cha-cha dance performance to “Sex Bomb” (watch it below) on Monday earned him a score of 15 out of 30 points, which tied him for last place with Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and Margaret Cho. EW reports everyone was speechless after his sendoff, particularly coat hanger Michael Bolton who said, “It proves that anything can happen.”
Hasselhoff didn’t seem too bothered with being the first to go. He told EW, “I knew going into this that when you are David Hasselhoff and you live this larger-than-life persona, then everyone is kind of gunning for you. I knew that I had to kind of get past the judges, and I did everything I could to go on technique. Two days before [premiere night], I had it down. I was so happy because my body came around. But premiere night, it just wouldn’t work like I hoped.” Can you hear the 75 trombones marching in sadness because their 76th one has mono?
But let’s not feel too bad for the guy. He’s always got new projects going, like doing renditions of Secret Agent Man and Hooked on a Feeling. He also probably spends Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays practicing his “when you’re David Hasselhoff” sentences, so he’s probably a little amped he gets to go back to doing that.