I've got some great news for those of you who always get off the subway with less than 10% of your iPhone or Droid battery remaining: ANGRY BIRDS IS BECOMING AN ANIMATED SERIES! Yes, yes! The game where you use a slingshot to throw various types of birds into walls and concrete castles to "rescue" their bitch friends who got captured in the first place is in the process of being turned into a television show! Rovio CEO, Mikael Hed, announced this morning that plans for the conversion are underway.
Hed said "'right,' said Fred." No, just kidding. That's not what he said. That has nothing to do with Angry Brids! Okay, for real this time, Hed said, "We have been looking at [making it an animated series] for quite a while, and that is definitely one of my personal big focus areas right now - to work on broadcast content for 'Angry Birds.'" He didn't reveal any other details about his agenda, but a television show is so obviously the next step for the game, considering it's slated to turn into games for Wii, Xbox, PS3. All of that is IN ADDITION to becoming accessible for rich old people by way of a Mattel board game that will look quite nicely when situated next to that condescending chessboard of theirs.
What else could Angry Birds become? With Justin Bieber's nail polish COMPLETELY SOLD OUT IN THIS ENTIRE CONSUMPTION-OBSESSED (but still curiously interested in cross-stitching) COUNTRY, let's think of some other things that can further the franchise. How about vitamins? Or themed aircraft carriers? Or what about an Angry Birds sleep away camp, where parents obviously wouldn't have to spend extra money on equestrian gear! Obviously, all are possible and most certainly requested by me.