The theories on Ashton Kutcher's new character, being brought onto Two and a Half Men to replace Charlie Sheen's Charlie Harper, have been plentiful. He's Alan's new tenant. He's Alan's new landlord. He's Charlie's illegitimate son. He's Charlie Harper himself after reconstructive surgery (this is my personal favorite). But the latest possibility is that Kutcher will actually play Kutcher.
The actor is, admittedly, a character on his own. For better or worse, Punk'd really brought him out of the That '70s Show outline and into his own celebrity persona. So, it's not so hard to believe that Chuck Lorre and Co. would consider sticking Kutcher's actual persona into the reality of Two and a Half Men to pal around with (or perhaps be at odds with) Alan and Jake Harper (Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones).
The truth is, nobody knows yet. The secrecy extends to withholding the premiere scripts until just two days before the episode's table read. Whether Kutcher will play Kutcher, Charlie, Raymond, Kelso or some other character, celebrity cameos will not be spared in the Season 9 opener. Reportedly, various big names will show up in the premiere to play themselves, possibly as interested buyers of the Harper household (which Alan can no longer afford on his own due to Charlie's absence).
Sheen's character is still said to be removed "violently," without any hope of ever returning. Meanwhile, Sheen's Comedy Central Roast is still set to broadcast the same night as the Two and a Half Men premiere. So clearly, everyone has pretty much buried the hatchet on this whole mess.