Mag Madness: We've Got Your Monthly Magazines...Covered

Look Inspired By: Man child fantasies

What She's Trying To Say: I'm back! I'm relevant! I'm hot!

What It Says: Make me your childhood sex fantasy again!

Look Inspired By: Fabulousness

What She's Trying To Say: I'm FLOTUS, b**tches.

What It Says: How glad are you that Ann Romney isn't on here?

Look Inspired By: An oil baron's modern-day 'Waterworld' fantasy

What She's Trying To Say: I'm more than my multiple personalities

What It Says: I should probably invest in some shampoo.

Look Inspired By: SEX!

What She's Trying To Say: SEX!

What It Says: SEX STUFF! (Oh yeah, and I'm pregnant... because I had SEX!)

Look Inspired By: The color yellow.

What She's Trying To Say: I pretty much look good in anything.

What It Says: Jennifer Lawrence isn't the only cool girl in town, you guys!

Look Inspired By: Old women who wear frilly nightgowns while watching Lifetime

What She's Trying To Say: I'm an adult who demands to be taken seriously!

What It Says: There's a special place in hell for women who use a round brush on their bangs.

Look Inspired By: Transparency

What She's Trying To Say: Stop asking me about 'House' and only sort of look at my boobs.

What It Says: What button in Photoshop makes it look like my head is 18 times too big for my body?

Look Inspired By: Flowers! Purity! Fashion!

What She's Trying To Say: It's OK if you rain on my parade, because it helps make the garden grow.

What It Says: Look at this huge f**king flower and try not to make a vagina joke.

Look Inspired By: Suburbia

What She's Trying To Say: I'm not like one of those regular moms, I'm a cool mom!

What It Says: I am very a adept squatter.

Look Inspired By: The eternal struggle of man versus nature, represented in the string of pearls around her neck.

What She's Trying To Say: I'm still hot you guys, I swear!

What It Says: We get it, it's unfair. Your body. And you've had two kids? God damnit, Hudson!