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Fashion & Style: Age-Inappropriate Style

1 of 19

We’re pretty sure this isn’t the Disney Channel anymore, what with barely-legal Selena Gomez showing her legs up to there in her crystallized and feathered Vegas showgirl stage outfit. The 19-year old admittedly looks stunning, but we weep a little for her lost childhood. Perhaps it’s the Justin Bieber effect? After all, he was just accused of fathering a child at 17!

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

2 of 19

Apparently 33-year-old reality TV star and mother-to-be (again) Kourtney Kardashian has fallen into the young mother’s maternity frump phase. Here she is looking dowdy in a black cardigan she tossed over her dress to cover Little Mason’s applesauce stains.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

3 of 19

Samantha—excuse us, Kim Cattrall—has been dressing younger than her age ever since she taught the world on Sex and the City that all you need to seduce a younger man is a whole lot of confidence, a good plastic surgeon, and pilates. Here the amazingly fit 55-year old sizzles in a red satin off-shoulder number on the red carpet. Kim shows all those younger starlets who’s boss!

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

4 of 19

It’s not so much that Cher doesn’t look her age in her beanie, long trenchcoat, and black leather fingerless gloves—it’s that she looks like a homeless lady. But what is her age again, exactly? She’s been cryogenically frozen for awhile now.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

5 of 19

53-year old Her Madgesty has earned her right to wear the ever-youthful butterfly gown by working four hours a day at the gym and eating an insane, rigorous diet. We’re sure the steady diet of younger boyfriends also helps. But the 53-year old Queen also knows one trick to hiding tired, aging eyes—rocking the sunglasses on the red carpet. Did someone say crow’s feet? We didn’t think so.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

6 of 19

Sarah Jessica Parker is living proof that a true fashionista never colors inside the lines when it comes to drawing age appropriate attire. Here the 46-year old looks young and fun in a retro-style, floral halter dress. Too old for sky-high heels? Never. Is her perfect body eternal? Absolutely.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

7 of 19

Now here’s an example of a woman whose spirit makes her forever young. It’s Goldie again, and the 63-year-old Hollywood sweetheart looks young at heart and gorgeous in simple denim, fun sandals, and a basic tunic. Goldie has freely shared the fashion secret that women of all ages should take note of—the greatest beautifier is happiness.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

8 of 19

Miley Cyrus’s hit song is called The Climb, and apparently Miley thinks in order to climb to the top one must dress like a woman who has already been there and done that several times over. We’d much prefer the 19-year old Disney darling to toss out the long grey gown and severe bun and have a little more fun on the red carpet. After all, the climb has just begun!

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

9 of 19

The Fanning sisters seem to have popped out of their mother’s womb much like Athena popped out of Zeus’ head—fully grown and fully fashionable. Here 13-year-old Elle Fanning looks fashion-wise beyond her years in a dreamy short-sleeved, floor length silhouette gown. We also love her over-the-head French braid.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

10 of 19

51-year old Kathie Griffin is yet another sad example of a beautiful, whip-smart woman who lets her insecurity about aging push her to the edges of starvation and over-sexed couture. Now, there’s nothing wrong with an older woman dressing super sexy. Exhibit A: Sharon Stone. But looking like you tortured your body and wearing a dress that looks like it came straight off a Frederick’s of Hollywood mannequin is another thing entirely.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

11 of 19

To be perfectly frank, we’re more worried about what’s happening with 63-year old Goldie Hawn’s face in this picture than by what appears to be a kid’s comforter wrapped around her body as a jacket. Why does it look like her skin is falling off? Is she an extra for The Walking Dead, and nobody told us? (She would still be a pretty adorable zombie though).

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

12 of 19

We love us some Vanessa Willians, but we’re not sure she’s really saved the best for last in this get-up. Lady, you are hot for 48 and we know it, but how about you leave the purple sequins and plunging necklines for the girls at the club, okay? It’s a bit much for the Alzheimer’s Association.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

13 of 19

If we ever saw 41-year old Mariah Carey without her super buff legs and fantastic cleavage showing…yes, until the day she dies…we would definitely run for cover, as the sky would definitely be falling (though it would be raining glitter of course). Here Ms. Carey turns what could be a demure, little black dress into her typical va-va-voom attire.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

14 of 19

Kris Jenner has been known to steal her daughter’s clothes, so we’re not sure if this feathered, glittery thing came out of her own closet or Kim’s. Either way, we have to admit the 56-year old does work it with confidence—and that goes a long way for any outfit. Let’s just hope one of her daughters doesn’t show up in the same thing on the red carpet next week.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

15 of 19

In plunging neckline, skin-tight silk, and with those red, red lips, 53-year old Sharon Stone oozes the sex appeal of a woman half her age. Who are we kidding, though? Most women of any age don’t have the basic instinct for pure sex that Ms. Stone does.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

16 of 19

Jessica Alba’s sour face makes her look like a pouty little girl, and here in her polka-dotted cardigan, bunch jeans, and black flats, she looks a bit like Suri Cruise. However, we think little Suri would have rocked this outfit better. At least Suri’s having fun!

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

17 of 19

Melanie Griffith wants to look younger. We know this because Melanie has decided to wear a dress that looks like a garden, and only children play in gardens. Okay, maybe that’s not true. But there’s something a little forced about this get-up. Perhaps it’s the intense shininess of the dress, or the fact that Melanie’s all skin-and-bones. Why not let your inner light shine, beautiful?

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

18 of 19

Oh my, Pam Anderson. It’s like the top of half of her remembered that she’s 44, and the bottom half of her is ready to strut the runway at the next Victoria’s Secret Annual fashion show with the other 18-year olds. As for those gold boots—we’re pretty sure we’ve seen some similar ones in the kid’s shoe section at Ross.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

19 of 19

Linda Hogan successfully demonstrates just about everything that a woman who wants to age gracefully should not do. Extreme tanning? Check. Garish printed dress? Check. More makeup than a club kid? Check. Oversize boobs? Check. Oversized belly, shown off by overly-tight garish dress? Check check.

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Photo: Kate Durbin (Commentary)/ Hollywood.com

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