10 Right (and Wrong) Ways to Pull Off Classic 'Staches
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Chin Strap
DO: Chin straps are only — I repeat, ONLY — successful when they are a bit fuller. No one likes a skinny, guido-y chin strap. 'Magic Mike' and 'True Blood' star Joe Manganiello demonstrates a nice, flushed-out chin strap. DON'T: Hayden Christensen's unwieldy, overgrown chin strap is seven hundred kinds of ick. [Xposure Photos; Wenn]
DO: If you're going to do mutton chops, go all the way. Do as Judah Friedlander does and let them grow, grow, grow!
DON'T: Luke Scott of the Tampa Bay Rays made the mistake of overly manicuring his chops. His look is more Wolverine and less Martin Van Buren (and in the land of mutton chops, that's not a good thing). [NBC; Associated Press]
DO: Let it grow out a bit. A goatee that is accompanied with a bit of scruff, like Colin Farrell's, is the way to go.
DON'T: Channing Tatum's scrawny excuse for a goatee can't be called anything but gross. [WENN (2)]
DO: If you're going to grow a full beard, do it, man! Nothing makes a big statement like a big beard. NBA baller James Harden knows what's up. DON'T: Matthew Fox's depressed beard makes us want to drown in a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Keep it neat or shave it off! [Retna; ABC]
DO: Make it your signature. No one would really call Hulk Hogan's 'stache attractive, per se, but who would he be without it? No one. DON'T: If you insist on having a horseshoe mustache (which I highly recommend against), try not to look like a '70s porn star. Example: John Travolta. [WENN(2)]
DO: This style, consisting of a handlebar mustache and pointy goatee, is best left to 16th century poets, like Sir Walter Raleigh. DON'T: Brad Pitt looks like a goat. Don't look like a goat. [Rex USA; National Portrait Gallery]
DO: The king of mustaches, made famous by Tom Selleck on 'Magnum P.I.' is now best represented by 'Parks and Recreation' character Ron Swanson, played by Nick Offerman. It is thick and luscious, a thing of beauty. DON'T: James Franco's wannabe chevron, however, looks like a dead, bisected caterpillar. [NBC; Retna]
DO: Ultra-suave Clark Gable's pencil mustache is pure Old Hollywood. DON'T: John Waters has been sporting his thin mustache just above his top lip since the 1970s. It's been heinous for just as long. [Warner Bros; WENN]
DO: The soul patch is never a good look, if you ask me, but Apolo Ohno's slightly shaggier rendition almost makes it cool. DON'T: Basically, just don't have a soul patch. Billy Ray Cyrus demonstrates the usual result. [WENN(2)]
Joaquin Phoenix accomplishes the difficult feat of wearing all facial hair styles at once. And, by George, he pulls it off! In a crazy hobo kind of way. [WENN]